Fears Founded(nothing actually scary, don't worry)

Remember back when Peeper "was a baby" (I really do find myself using that phrase when I think of her very early weeks! I am silly.) and I talked about bathing with her?

Well, we still do that every few days, and it's actually the only kind of bath she's ever had, other than just wiping her down (mostly her yucky neck) more or less on a daily basis.

I'm still the one who bathes with her, because Shrike's not big on tub baths anyway ("You're soaking in your own filth!") and is scared to bathe with Peeper because "What if she poops in there?"

I've always thought that she was kind of silly to be worried about that.

Not any more.

Peep usually seems to really enjoy being in the tub, but hates getting out. Last time, though, she started squawking when she got in, so we cut it short and got her out pretty quickly.

Tonight, the squawking began while I was bathing alone, before Shrike brought her in, and didn't stop when she got in.

We were kind of starting to worry that she might not like it anymore, for some reason.

So, we hurried up and got her hair and her neck scrubbed real well, and Shrike went to get the towels.

While we waited, I snugged her up, and offered her some goody, which she accepted and settled down a bit.

When Shrike got back, we decided to just go ahead and let her nurse for a while before getting her out and pissing her off.

Evidently, it relaxed her, because the next thing I new, I was feeling something up against the my leg that she was sitting on.

Something coming out of her butt.

"Oh," I said, "Please let that just be a toot!"

And I felt it again.

And again.

And then I saw it.

By that point, I figured what the hell, no point in leaping out of the water, it's already in there.

So, I let her finish nursing, all the while alternating between laughing about it and thinking EW EW EW!

When she was done, Shrike suggested that we spray her off with the shower before taking her out.

(After which I would take a shower. With soap.)

I figured she was going to hate that, but Shrike got the temperature and pressure adjusted just right, and started at her head, and she actually seemed to like it!

I stood her up and Shrike showered her all off.

I wish there were some way we could've gotten a photo of that, but I think we would've had to invite a friend in to help and, um, no.

At first, I thought we'd found the solution to the tub-exiting hysterics, because the shower seemed to bridge the gap between in-the-water and out-of-the-water, but as Shrike was snugging her up in the towel (and I was starting my real shower. with soap) the squawking began.

Oh well.

She did settle down once she was dressed, which occassionally doesn't happen, so it wasn't too bad.

I'm not quite sure how this experience might change our future bathtime plans, but it's possible that there might be more spraying of the baby involved.

And perhaps a swimmy diaper.

Manic Monday #39

1. How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?
   At least thirty minute of snoozing. Shrike hates that.
   
   
2. Do you usually sleep on one side of the bed or another?
   I sleep on the left, Shrike is on the right (if we're laying on our backs).
   
   
3. Something you wish to accomplish before the end of the year.
   Survive our first month or so of parenting.

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Manic Monday #38

1. What is one thing you admire about each of your parents?
   As I've mentioned before, Anonydaddy is a doctor, and I really admire the way he always seems to go that step beyond for his patients, whether it's taking the extra time to listen to their concerns, medical and otherwise, or adjusting a little old lady's insulin dosage meal by meal, based on how much she was able to eat today.
   
   Of course, he's got a great reputation around town, especially among the old folks that he treats.
   
   Once, a few years ago, Anonymama was sitting in her gynecologist's office and overheard one woman say to another, "That's Dr. Anonydaddy's wife over there. Dr. J must be really good, if he takes care of her!"
   
   (Did I get the story right, Anonymama?) 
   
   Let me tell you a couple of stories about Anonymama, and her politics. 
   
   She still attends the Southern Baptist church that we went to when I was a kid (I got over it), and now teaches a Sunday School class, of older ladies.
   
   I asked her once, "How can you do that, given your political beliefs?" 
   
   "It's easy," she said, "I just leave out the things I don't agree with."
   
   My favorite example is the time that she threw out the entire suggested lesson for "Sanctity of Life Sunday" and, instead, talked about the need to fund stem cell research!
   
   A few weeks ago, she asked me to send her an Obama bumper sticker, and I offered her a button as well, saying "I have 'Women for Obama,' or 'Seniors for Obama,' or . . . . " 
   
   "No, just send me a regular one - I don't want to be labeled."
   
   I told her I would send a couple of stickers and a couple of buttons, so they could each have one.
   
   She said, "Daddy probably won't put a sticker on his car, because he doesn't want to have to talk to people about it. But I kind of enjoy getting in their faces!" 
   
   Speaking of her sticker, the other day, she was walking out of a meeting, when a woman whom she'd only met recently spotted it and commented on it.
   
   At first, Anonymama thought the woman was appalled, but the realized that she was just surprised, and pleased, to find that she was also a Democrat.
   
   In the conversation that followed, the other woman said, "Well, I have two friends who have gay daughters, and I think they ought to have the same rights as everyone else!" 
   
   Anonymama told her, "Actually, you have three friends who do!" 
   
   
2. Which parts of your home do you like best?
   The sunroom is what sold us on the house when we were first looking at it but, ironically, that's become the dog's room, and the place where all the old crappy furniture is. I still like it though, and I also love sitting in our backyard on a summer evening.
   
   At the moment though, the room that I just can't get enough of is Peeper's - I can't wait til we've got it completely decorated. And have a baby to put in it!
   
   
3. Which would you prefer and why: To have every stoplight turn green upon your arrival for the rest of your life or to have one week of the best sex any person ever had?
   Let's just say that I've had some pretty damn good long weekends that nearly killed me, so I don't know that I could handle an entire week like that. I think it might be safest to go with the green lights. 
   
   (Oh dear. I hope Anonymama quit reading about two paragraphs ago when I stopped talking about her.)

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Manic Monday #37

Hey, the memes are back! Well, at least for today. We'll see how it goes beyond that. 

1. Pick out the most important item you have in your purse/wallet and tell me why it's important to you.
   Hmm, let's see. . . ID, credit cards, insurance cards, business cards, two dollars. Meh. Aha - my voter registration card! I'd say that's the most important thing in there, because it give me the power to (along with a few million other people) change the world.
   
   
2. What would you take from your house if you knew it would be flooded tomorrow?
   Ew, I should refer this one to Anonymama and LadyKay; they've gotten way too good at answering this in real life, lately. Based on what I've learned from them - people, pets, clothes, food, medications for everyone, important papers, checkbook, laptop, cell phones and chargers. What am I forgetting?
   
   
3. If you were stuck in a room for an hour with a chalk board, what would you draw on it?
   Probably nothing. I'm not much of a drawer.

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Manic Monday #36

1. Are you a talker or a listener? Is it ever possible to really be both?
   I'd like to think that I'm a good listener too, but I'm definitely more of a talker.
   
2. Do you think God has a sense of humor?
   Perhaps a twisted sense of humor.
   
   
3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever experienced it?
   How about love before first sight?
   
   I think it might be a stretch to say that Shrike and I fell in love at the first sight of each other's typed words, but there was an immediate connection within the first couple of exchanges, and I know that, crazy as it sounds, I was in love with her before we even saw each other's photos - and long before we met in person.
   
   (A very, very different kind of "in love" from what I feel now, ten years later, but definitely in love already.)
   
   Here's a funny story about that, actually.
   
   When we'd been emailing for a few weeks, and had not yet declared our love for each other, but were pretty much about too, I mailed her a photo.
   
   (Neither of us had digital cameras or scanners at that point, so emailing photos wasn't an option.)
   
   She told me that when it arrived, she was scared to open it and look at it, but "Little did I know, I had nothing to worry about."
   
   Now, I knew was nervous about seeing her photo, because I kept thinking, "Oh my God, what if she's not cute, and I'm not attracted to her. That would be awful, because I already love her!"
   
   (Except maybe not quite so consciously as that.)
   
   So, I figured her concerns were the same, and was flattered when she said that.
   
   Years later, we were reminiscing about this, and talking about how nervous we were about looking at the photos, and she said, "I was intimidated, because I was afraid you'd be like totally hot or something, and way out of my league."
   
   I was all, "Ha ha, yeah . . . HEY - wait a minute!"

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Manic Monday #35

1. If your personality had to be summed up as a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be?
   Ham and cheese. With a side of nuts.
   
2. If you knew that someone was dying, but they didn’t know, would you tell them the truth or deceive them about it?
   That would depend on who it was, and what my relationship was with them. It may or may not be my place to decide things like that.
   
   
3. Do you dress the same when you are depressed as you do when you are very happy?
   I wasn't sure about the answer to this, so I asked Shrike. She said, "Yeah, we both dress shitty all the time."

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Manic Monday #36

1. What is your ideal age?
   When I turned 28, I declared that it sounded like a good age, and I was just going to "stay there." Then I realized that, around 35, people would start thinking, "Wow, she's lookin' pretty rough for 28!" so I gave up on that idea.
   
   To tell you the truth, as completely fucking surreal as it is, so far, 40 is shaping up to be pretty good.
   
2. What is your best excuse for being late?
   My most believable excuse is "I ran into traffic" because I drive about 40 miles down the interstate to get to work each day.
   
   My most realistic "excuse" is "I'm a lazy bum and hit the snooze alarm too many times.
   
   My favorite all-around excuse right now, though, is "I'm making a human. What did you do today?"
   
   
3. If you had to give yourself a nickname what would it be?
   Um, Whozat?

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Manic Monday #35

1. You have accomplished a difficult task and hear someone else taking the credit. How do you deal with the situation?
   
   I would certainly be pissed, and depending on who it was (a competitor? my boss? a friend?) I might or might not say something. I might ask someone else to point out that it was my work, not theirs, rather than saying something myself .
   
2. If you had to marry someone that you presently know unromantically, and spend the rest of your life as their spouse, who would you choose?
   Ew, I don't like this one. Not that it would necessarily be that awful being with that person, whomever it might be, but because it would mean not being with Shrike. That said, I really can't think of anyone specific, but I would want it to be someone that I'm good friends with, and get along well with, because that's a lot more important than those other spously things (on a day-to-day living with someone basis).
   
   
3. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now?
   Ew, this question is even worse than the last! I'd start by taking out a really big life insurance policy, so that Shrike and Peeper would be okay, financially. Then I'd just spend all the time I could with them, and with my other family and friends. Sure, there are a lot of things that I'd like to do or see or accomplish in life, but none are as important as that. Did I mention that I really, really, really hate this question?

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Manic Monday #34

1. Do good things come to those who wait?
   No. Sometimes good things happen to people who've been waiting for them, of course, but sometimes good things happen right away, and sometimes they never do. I don't think that "waiting" has anything to do with it. That's just something we tell ourselves while we're waiting to make ourselves feel better.
   
2. Your best friend's spouse is being unfaithful. Would you tell your friend? If so, how?
   I think I would stay out of it; it's none of my business.
   
   
3. Which part of your body do you like the least? Would you change it through plastic surgery, if possible?
   My sag (everywhere) which is a result of my weightloss. I would like to have plastic surgery on at least a few parts (starting with my belly, because it's the worst and maybe my arms next, because they are the most "public." Or maye even the arms first, for that reason. Someday, after Peeper is weaned, I may pursue it.

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Manic Monday #33

1. If you knew that every minute of the next 24 hours of your life would be recorded on camera is there anything you would change about your habits?
   I think I'd make a concerted effort to avoid picking my nose or scratching my ass.
   
2. If you could take a one-month trip to any single destination in the world and money is not a consideration, where would you go?
   Gestation Island. Have I explained about Gestation Island? It's where Shrike and I want to go for the next six and a half months, where no one will bother us about stupid things like work or bills or laundry or groceries, and we can just spend all our time together, not thinking about anything or anybody (no offense) but ourselves and our Peeper.
   
   
3. What is the best example of “perfection” that you can think of?
   A newborn, before the world fucks them up.

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Manic Monday #32

1. If the statement, 'You are what you eat' were true, I would be a big bowl of chocolate-covered macaroni and cheese.
   
2. If you had to have one piece of music (softly) playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?
   Ew, that's a tough one, because my "favorite" song changes pretty often. There are a lot that I might choose for entertainment purposes, but for overall calming, inspirational and, I dunno, meditative(?) purposes, I think I'd go with Peace, I Ask of Thee, Oh River, as sung by the women who attend the annual adult reunion at my summer camp.
   
   
3. What is the most important thing in any relationship?
   Love, communication, understanding, blah, blah, blah. Beyond that obvious stuff, what I've found very helpful for us is that we both have a sense of humor about things. I think that if you can manage to not take each other, or yourselves, too seriously, and to see through the anger or hurt or whatever of the moment to recognize how foolish you look in the big picture, it really helps.

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Manic Monday #31

1. What name would you want have if you were the opposite sex?
   Well, if I actually had been a boy, I would have gotten the name that BabyBro ended up with a year later. It's not a bad name at all, but that's kind of wierd to think of.
   
   (Weirder: Had BabyBro been a girl, her name would've been a variation of Shrike's which would've just been creepy. On the other hand, I never actually call Shrike by her name anyway, so maybe not so much.)
   
   (Is that all correct, Anonymama? Other than the creepy factor. I know that's right.)
2. Would you share the tooth brush of your spouse/significant other? Why or why not?
   I don't think so. That's dumb, because we swap spit all the time, but still. Ew.
   



3. What is a song that you love to hate?
   You know, I don't think I have a song like that. I'm easy, really. If I recognize it and I know the words enough to sing along without embarrassing myself too badly (especially if it's an "oldie" - you know, from the 80s) then I kind of like it.
   
   Shrike could probably give you quite a list though. Starting, I'm sure, with anything by Steely Dan.

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Manic Monday #30

1. Is there anything for which you would willingly give your life?
   I'd like to say that I would give my life to protect my family, but I'm quite a wuss, so I'm not sure I could say that I'd do it "willingly."
   

2. How would you communicate with someone if you didn't share a common language?
   Gestures, and pantomime, I suppose.
   



3. Where is your ideal place/location to have a wedding?
   Anywhere that it's legal.

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Manic Monday #29

1. Is there any question you can't look up the answer to on the internet?
   Everything we want to know about Peeper - from "Is everything ok?" to "What gender is s/he?" to, well, everything.
   
   
2. Invent a new word that you feel would improve the language and define it.
   Oh man, I do this all the time, but I can't do it on demand!
   
   


3. What is your favorite texture?
   Baby skin.

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Manic Monday #29

1. What is the sexiest part of the body?
   The brain.
   
   
2. If you kissed a frog, who would you like it to turn into?
   A bottle of Purell, because ew!
   


3. What do you have stuck up on your refrigerator right now?
   
   

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Manic Monday #28

1. If you could have any music group or musician play at a party, who would you hire?
   Melissa Etheridge. Hell, screw the performance, I just want her to attend one of our parties.




2. Name three things to be happy about today.
   • Spring is coming.
   • I have a wonderful wife.
   • I'll tell you tomorrow. Let the speculation begin ;-)
   
   
3. How do you release frustration?
   Talking it out and venting about it.

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Manic Monday #27

1. What's your favorite thing to spend money on?
   I don't know that I'd say "favorite," but the non-necessity that we most often spend money on around here is dining out. If the Peeps stick, I think my new favorite thing will be baby clothes.




2. If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?
   Concentrate on baby making/growing/raising, and on my political activities.

3. Should anything be censored and if so, what and why?
   I've actually writtien about this before, in my Banned Books Week post, so I'll just refer you to that.

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Manic Monday #26

1. You find that your best friend has stolen money to pay for medical treatment for a seriously ill relative. What would you do?
   Oh, dear. I suspect that I would probably not say anything, but I think it might depend on from whom the money had been stolen.




2. What three things do you regret not learning to do?
   
   1. Speak Spanish. (I took German in high school. In Texas. What the hell?)
   2. Sing well. (Maybe it's not possible to learn that, but I wish I could.)
   3. Play guitar well. (I played at guitar for a while, and enjoyed it, but kind of sucked)

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Manic Monday #25

Somewhat appropriately for my blogiversary, this week's questions seem to be built around a birthdayish sort of these.

1. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
   Let's see, there was a meeting at work and they gave me a balloon, I'm pretty sure that Shrike and I went out to dinner with a birthday coupon at some point, and we celebrated both our days, and Mother's Day with her family. Oh, and the day before my birthday, I had my uterus flushed.




2. What's the last thing you bought yourself, just for fun?
   Drinks with some friends, last Thursday night. And then I tried to flush my cellphone.



3. What would the child you once were think of the adult you have become?
   I suspect she would be a little shocked, by a variety of things.

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Manic Monday #24

1. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
   The buffet, preferably. I usually get a tiny bit of each of several dishes that feature small, yummy bits of meat, such a General Tso's chicken, pepper steak, pork lo mein, barbeque pork, peanut chicken, kung pao chicken, sesame chicken etc. I also love the cream cheese filled wontons, as well as the meat-filled ones, both steamed and fried. And the puffy biscuits covered in sugar. And ice cream.




2. How much have you controlled the course your life has taken?
   Hmm, about fifty percent?



3. Whose opinion do you value when deciding how to vote?
   My own.

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