Sugar in the Morning . . . .

I'll be doing my one-hour glucose tolerance test tomorrow morning, and I'm a bit nervous about it.

I'm not so much worried about the results, although I do have a genetic predisposition, in that not only is Anonymama diabetic now, but although they didn't test for it back then, she almost certainly had gestational diabetes with me (10 lb 7 oz) and BabyBro (11 lb) and likely with LadyKay as well (the runt at 8 lb 10 oz).

The genetic upside is that LadyKay didn't have any diabetic-type troubles with either of her pregnancies and her kids were average and actually a bit on the smallish side.

(Kiddo1 was 7 lb 9 oz - one ounce above the "average" of 7 1/2 lbs, and Frappa was in that "6 3/4 - 7 lb" range that Dr. Peri quoted me for 25th percentile.)

So, yes I am a bit concerned about how the test results will come out, but I'm more worried about just getting through the test itself.

Yeah, I know the glucola is going to be yucky-sweet, and all that (although LiPA tells me "It's not so bad, it's just like a Sunkist!") but of more concern is the fact that I'm pretty sure it's going to make me feel like crap.

I tried to talk Dr. B out of it, based on the fact that it's not generally recommended for post-gastric bypass patients, who typically don't tolerate big loads of sugar well, but she wants me to do it.

Actually, for the first couple of years after my surgery, I felt very lucky (or not) in that I didn't have any trouble with "dumping" on sugar, but now I think that I may do a mild version of it, and much more so since I've been pregnant.

What happens is that when I have something real sugary (although lately, it's required much smaller amounts) I feel what I refer to as "thumpy" which, I guess, would technically be heart palpitations.

I don't get nauseated or crampy or anything along those lines, and I don't get sweaty or panicky, as described in the link above, but I feel like my heart is beating way too hard, and a bit too fast, and I feel just generally not-right.

I've described it to my perinatologist and said I thought it was a mild dumping thing, and he basically shrugged and said, "Yep, sounds like it." He was not particularly concerned, so I guess I'm not either.

Sometimes I also get thumpy when I eat things that aren't sugary, usually when I've had a bit more of something, volume-wise, than I'm really comfortable with. My recent research (looking for the link above) says that you can also dump on high-fat things, so maybe that's what's going on then.

Yes, you would think that feeling crappy for fifteen to thirty minutes would be a deterrent from eating this stuff, but evidently, I don't feel crappy enough to out-weigh the yumminess of the food itself.

Also, over the past couple of weeks, I think there's been, in the back of my mind, the fear that I might not pass the test, and if that's the case, and I'm going to be off sugar for the duration of my pregnancy, I'd better get it in while I can.

Yeah, that's probably not the healthiest strategy, is it?

Lately, I've been checking labels of things that have made me thumpy, and the glucola has a lot more sugar than what I seem to be able to handle these days, so I'm guessing that it's going to make me quite thumpy.

The other side of the coin is that sometimes (much less often than the thumpiness) I get what I like to call "the hippy-hippy-shakes," which is "rebound" hypoglycemia when my blood sugar crashes later.

I was getting that a lot for a while there last year, and Anonydaddy actually sent me a freebie sample glucometer from his office, with which I confirmed that my blood sugar definitely was low when I was feeling shaky, and was back into the normal range after some orange juice and peanuts had made me feel better.

So, in anticipation of serious thumpiness followed by a possible hypoglycemic crash, I've decided to do the test on Saturday, when Shrike can drive, and when I don't have to worry about getting to work afterward or doing anything else, other than coming home and going to bed if I need to.

When I'm thumpy, there's not much to be done but to wait it out, preferably in a horizontal position, but when I'm shaky, I need something sugary, but not too much, to bring my blood sugar back up and some protein to help hold it there, so I'm definitely planning to take some juice and peanuts with me tomorrow, in case I need them!

My plan is to get up around 8 am, and once I'm dressed and ready to go, I'll chug the glucola (I have to drink the whole bottle within five minutes!) and then we'll head over to the lab.

The blood draw will be one hour after finishing the drink, so that should give us plenty of time to get there (not very far from home) and get all checked in.

I'm sure I'll post a full report, once I'm feeling better, and then I'll just have to wait on the results.

The instructions that the doctor's office gave me says that "we will notify you of your test results at your next office visit (Thursday September 4), unless they are abnormal and someone from our office will contact you," so I guess that no news will be good news.

Of course, some news would not necessarily be bad news, because "failing" the one-hour test isn't a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, just an indication that the full three-hour test is needed.

That one sounds even less pleasant - more sugar, and then you have to stay fasting for three hours and multiple blood draws.

Let's just hope we won't have to worry about that.

Photo Hunter #53: Self

Belly Shot #1: 14 weeks, 5 days
Nothing to see here, check back in a couple of weeks

I'd like very much to claim that what you're looking at in this photo is a brand-new "baby bump" (ugh, I hate that term for some reason!) but it's pretty much just some tummy flab that was there long before Peeper was a sparkle in anybody's eye.

Over the past couple of days, though, I have started to notice that my lower belly seems to be getting firmer, so I think Peeper is finally going over the wall, my uterus is clearing my pelvic bones, and I should expect to start seeing something soon.

So, I figured I'd better go ahead and get a baseline "before" photo, before I start having something real to show off!

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Five on Friday #7: Food Fads

What are your thoughts on the following food fads? Are they diet gospel or modern quackery? Do you find yourself following any of them?

I guess my short answer to all of these is "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that's what I'm supposed to do," but it doesn't always happen.

1. 100 calories
   I love 100 calorie snacks! They help to control calorie intake, and the portions are just right for my little post-gastric bypass tummy.

   
   

2. Low Carb/Sugar Free
   Having had gastric bypass surgery, should be eating a low-sugar, high-protein diet. I do pretty well at getting my protein in (and I'm paying particular attention to it, now that I'm pregnant), but I don't do as well with the sugar thing as I should. Some people can't tolerate it at all but fortunately (or unfortunately) it doesn't make me sick at all. I don't buy this whole "carbs are evil" and "don't eat anything white" crap, though.

   
   

3. Low Fat/Fat Free
   Hmm, see above, re sugar :-) I do try to go with lower-fat options when possible, unless I'm just being bad, and eating whatever the hell I want.

   
   

4. Trans-Fat Free
   That's the stuff that's supposed to kill you, right? I couldn't begin to tell you what it's in and what it's not.

   
   

5. Whole Grain
   When I'm being "good" I'll try to go for the whole grain option, but it's not a big deal for me.

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Back in the Kitchen

I'm posting this "recipe" not so much because it's that stellar, or because you couldn't figure it out on your own, but because Hey! I cooked something!

Actually, I've been scrambling up egg(beater)s with some stuff in them for the past three days, but this was the prettiest, so I took a photo and decided to share.

Also, there's a surprise (to us) ingredient - spinach!

We didn't really know that we liked fresh spinach, until we had some in a salad at LiPA's house. Of course, we were guests, so we tried a bit of everything and hey - whaddya know - that's pretty darn good.

As I mentioned earlier, we bought a bag of baby spinach salad for New Years Day and enjoyed it so much that we bought some more on Sunday. This time, we got the grown-up kind because it's cheaper.

I also picked up an onion (I was eating on a very sad one for the past few days - definitely past its prime) and a couple of surprisingly good-looking-for-January bellpeppers (one green, one red).

When I got ready to make my egg this morning, I got crazy and decided to use a bit of all those - plus some lunch meat and, of course, cheese.

As I was getting out the ingredients, and had an armful of veggies, Shrike walked through the kitchen and asked, "What are you doing? "

I said, "Scrambling an egg."

"With everything in the refrigerator?"

"Well, yes, evidently."

So, here it is. As usual, most measurements are approximate.

Turkey & Veggie Scramble
1 egg, or 1/4 cup egg substitute
1 oz milk
2 T chopped onion
2 T chopped red bellpepper
2 T chopped green bellpepper
2 T chopped chopped fresh spinach
3 slices deli turkey (chopped)
2 T shredded cheese

1. Grease up a non-stick skillet in some tasty way. I use I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray, 'cause that's how I roll, but you're welcome to use the real deal. Heat the pan.


2. Add veggies and meat, stirring until they are warm and soft and cooked-like.


3. Combine egg and milk in a bowl, and add to skillet. Stir / scrape / scramble until doneish and no longer runny.


4. Sprinkle cheese on top and stir until melted.

One Down, Fifty-One To Go

Weeks in 2008, that is. Well, work weeks. Or something like that. Somehow, for a week with a day off in the middle, it sure was long. Monday seems like it was forever ago. Almost like it was . . . last year!

So, what have we been up to, in the shiny new year?

I've been doing pretty well with the Five Day Pouch Test, and am at the tail-end of Day Three - Soft Proteins. I had a scrambled egg for breakfast, a couple of servings of leftover black-eyed peas at work and most of a small bowl of chili when I met Shrike for dinner. Since I've been home, I've scrambled up another egg, finished off the chili, and whipped up some very-light-on-the-mayo chicken salad. Maybe not salad, maybe just chicken with some stuff in it.

Still pissed about the cottage cheese / sour cream mix-up.

On the baby front, we got our "not crazy" letter from Dr. T yesterday morning (Thanks, Dr T!), and then the check from my parents arrived in the mail that afternoon. (Big thanks, Anonyparents!)

We were kind of freaking out about the check, looking for a "safe place" to put it, where it'll come to no harm, but we'll remember to take it with us to our appointments on Monday.

Silly, really. It's a check. A big check, but still a check.

It's not a briefcase full of hundred dollar bills.

And it's from my parents. Who would trust me if I had to tell them that BigGaloot had eaten it or something and it needed replaced.

And who would know where to find us if both checks were somehow cashed, after all.

(Or not, depending on what we did with the money, I suppose.)

And who are smart enough to stop payment on a missing big-ass check.

But, so far, so good. I'm looking at it right now, it's out of Galoot's reach, and I can't imagine we'll forget it on Monday.

It wouldn't be a huge thing if we were to forget it, anyway. Right now we just owe a $4000 deposit, which is less than the part we'll be paying, anyway.

As far as that goes, we've got a home equity line of credit lined up with our credit union. We just have to get hold of the mortgage bank (phone tag) and have them close the line that we have with them, and then tell the credit union about it, before they'll let us sign the paperwork.

No huge rush on that, as we have room on our credit card for it. We'll just put our share on there and then use the line of credit to pay that off when the bill comes. I just mailed off a payment, so we've got some time before the next one is due.

Sidebar:
"Our share" is the most efficient way that I can think of to say "the portion of the IVF bill that we'll be paying ourselves, after using my parents' incredibly generous contribution to pay the majority of it," but, on the other hand, it doesn't sit quite right, in my mind.

If we have "a share" that's anything less that 100%, that would seem to indicate that my parents' contribution is somehow "their share" or the portion that they "owe" when it's nothing of the sort.

Every penny of the money they are giving us is way above and beyond the parental call of duty - not to mention the grandparental call of duty which, really, only requires love and spoilage - and I certainly don't want my language to give a false impression that we don't fully realize that.

Other than that, the only other news of note here is that, a couple of hours ago, my throat started feeling funky, and I'm not optimistic about what that might be foreshadowing. Which is just fucking ridiculous, given that I've only been over my last cold for a few weeks. Maybe it's just a fake. I hope.

Thursday Thirteen #44

Thirteen Things I Have Eaten - Or May Eat - During the Five Day Pouch Test
What the hell is the Five Day Pouch Test?

Days One & Two

1. Carnation Instant Breakfast, sugar free chocolate (These went from something I choked down immediately pre-op (the added protein powder or dry milk did not help) to something that I now view as I treat. Especially with a bit of Kahlua. Or butterscotch schnapps. But I digress. And fantasize. Mmmm schnapps)


2. Carnation Instant Breakfast, sugar free vanilla with a bit of orange juice (Dreamsicle!)


3. Tomato "Soup at Hand" (I can never remember the name, just that it's "soup somewhere inappropriate." I prefer to call it "soup in my pocket.")


4. Cream of chicken soup (Minor confession: this has tiny bits of solidish chicken. No, I did not pick them out. Mmmm - chewing!)


5. Sugar Free Italian Ice (Does not travel well, unless one remembers to eat it early in the day. It was more like Italian flavored water today.)


6. Smoothie - Dannon Light n' Fit Strawberry Vanilla (Not very good. Rum would help. See above, re Kahlua and schnapps.)


7. Cream of potato soup - with a bit of 2% Velveeta melted in it
   
   Day Three

   
   

8. Cottage Cheese Aw crap. Not unless I go back to the grocery store. I just realized that I bought sour cream instead. What a dumbass.


9. Scrambled Egg (Looking forward to this for breakfast tomorrow, probably with some shredded cheese melted in it. Will also order one with some cheese when I go out for breakfast on Saturday with some of my Democratic buddies. We do that monthly.)


10. Black-eyed peas (leftovers)


11. Canned Chicken
    
    Day Four

    
    

12. Ground beef
    
    Day Five

    
    

13. Chicken breast

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Wordless Wednesday #41: The Party's Over

Three weeks ago, this was filled with Hershey Kisses. Yesterday, there were still several a few left. Today, at my request, Shrike took the rest to work, to get them the hell out of my sight. And my mouth. And my hips.

I'm not sure why she left that one, sad little cinnamon disk in there.
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What to Eat Tomorrow

As I might have mentioned a time or two, after having had gastric bypass surgery three years ago, losing about 200 lbs in eighteen months and then maintaining my weight at goal for over a year, I've put back on a few pounds in the past few months, and I'm now about 25 lbs above my drop-dead-no-way-I'm-allowed-to-go-over-that weight.

For over a year, I was doing fine following my dietitian's advice to "eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full, and try to make healthy choices most of the time," but I seem to be leaving off that third step quite a bit lately. And, occasionally, the first two steps, as well.

Actually, for that first year, was able to even make some not-so-healthy choices and still maintain, but I was getting a lot more exercise than I am now.

When I was working for the BlueState Democratic Party, I parked about 3/4 mile from work (in the $3/day lot, rather than the nearby $14/day lot), so I was walking 1 1/2 miles each day without even intending to exercise.

Then, while I was out of work, I walked with Shrike and the dogs nearly every day, which counter-balanced any boredom eating I was doing while sitting around the house.

Since I went back to work in late April, I've done much less walking, and then I've been taking various hormones since July and, since August, there's been pretty much unlimited chocolate candy available at work.

A very dangerous combination, evidently.

Of course, it hasn't helped that, as the scale's been inching up, I've been thinking, "Oh, I'll be pregnant in a few weeks anyway, so . . . ."

Recently, I've come to the realization that if I keep this up, by the time I actually am pregnant, I will have already put on more than I'm "allowed" to gain during pregnancy.

Of course, I knew that trying to make any changes during the holidays would be a recipe (so to speak) for failure, but I've been saying for weeks, "Come the first of the year . . . ."

So, now we're here, and it's time to get my shit together.

(Of course, today was all about the ritual food, so the shit-together-getting starts tomorrow.)

Not only to do I need to cut back on my calorie intake in general, I've also gotten very lax about making sure that I'm getting lots of protein, which is very important for those who've had gastric bypass surgery.

I've also gotten pretty lax about some of the other post-op "rules," particularly since I really have no food intolerances (not necessarily a good thing) and can eat lots of things that I really shouldn't.

I've been wracking my brain trying to remember what sorts of things I ate on a regular basis (especially what I took to work) when I was losing weight, and following the rules.

In order to get some guidance - and inspiration - I went back to a website that I found incredibly helpful when I was preparing for my surgery, and when I was in the weight loss and early maintenance phases, ObesityHelp.com.

In the "WLS (weight loss surgery) Grads" forum (for those a year or more post-op), several people were talking about something called the "5 Day Pouch Test."

(This was quite confusing for me at first, because they were abbreviating it "5dpt" which, to me, means "5 days post-(embryo)transfer. But I digress.)

I'm definitely not one for quick-fixes or fad diets or "cleansing" plans, but I'm going to give this a try.

I can't do any major nutritional damage in less than a week, and it might just be the kick in the ass that I need, so I figure it falls into the "can't hurt, might help" category.

The pouch test is a short-term (five day, would ya believe) back-to-basics refresher course, of sorts, for folks who've had weight loss surgery and now find themselves off track. Sort of a boost back up onto the wagon, so to speak.

The purpose is to "rediscover your pouch" (teeny tummy), convincing yourself that it still "works" and, they claim, tightening it back up a bit.

It's also a way to "get back to basics," break some harmful eating patterns and, although they say this isn't the goal, probably jump-start weight loss.

It's basically a speeded-up version of the original post-op diet steps that we went through over the first few months after surgery.

Here's the gist:

Days One & Two: Liquid Protein
Low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding

Day 3: Soft Protein
Canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy)

Day 4: Firm Protein
Ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut

Day 5: Solid Protein
White meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game

You can eat as much of the above menu as you want during the day to satiate hunger and prevent snacking on other foods.

Measure your portion (1 cup volume or 4-6 ounces weight) and eat only until you feel full, not overfull.

You must drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water each day. Limit each meal to 15 minutes. No drinking 30 minutes before or after meals and no drinking with your food.

Most of these rules are the basics that I should have been following all along.

We went grocery shopping on Sunday and I stocked up on liquid and soft things (had to keep reminding myself that it's just a few days!) and I plan to start on this tomorrow.

I'm a bit nervous about it but even if I'm not "perfect" with it, I think it will be a good jump-start, to remind me of what I'm supposed to be doing, to get me away from some of the bad habits that I've developed and - mostly - to make me appreciate what I can eat, come next week!

After these five days, I probably won't follow any specific "rules" or any prohibitions about specific foods (except, perhaps, the candy at work because once I start, I can't stop), but will go back to tracking everything I'm eating on FitDay.com, trying to keep my calories in the 1000 - 1250 range, and making sure that I'm getting enough protein, calcium and other things that are of particular concern to gastric bypass patients.

I'm hoping to drop a few pounds before I get pregnant (which is probably at least two months away) but, more importantly, I'll be eating more healthily, and getting all the nutrients that I'll need to build a healthy baby.

Updates to come, no doubt.

Thursday Thirteen #41

Today is my three year "surgiversary." I had Roux en Y gastric bypass surgery on December 13, 2004.

Thirteen Facts About My Gastric Bypass Surgery

1. I lost about 200 lbs in the eighteen months following my surgery.
2. I went from a size 26 to a size 4.
3. I maintained that weight for over a year.
4. I'm now up about 20 lbs from there (size 8ish).
5. I'm blaming the weight gain on the hormones I've been taking.
6. And unlimited amounts of chocolate candy at work.
7. Many people have food intolerances after surgery, but I can eat just about anything.
8. That is not necessarily a good thing.
9. I can generally fill up on about 1/2 cup of food.
10. But I do get hungry again within a couple of hours
11. So, I eat several small meals a day.
12. I feel 1000% better than I did before my surgery.
13. Second only to being with Shrike, it's the best decision I've ever made.

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So Far, So Good

I saw my dietician this morning, and had follow-up appointments regarding my gastric bypass surgery (2.5 years ago) and glomerulonephritis (16 years ago), and everything went great.

I knew from my lab results that I was doing ok, all around, but it was good to hear it from the experts.

All three of them were very happy with my current health, specifically my weight, nutrition and kidney function.

The dietician said that I don't need to do anything very differently, diet-wise, during pregnancy, except for adding about 300 calories per day to my diet.

The nephrologist told me that there's no reason that I should not be able to carry to term, and no reason to expect that a pregnancy would do any damage to my kidneys.

The only issue is that I might have a slightly higher risk of preeclampsia, and should be monitored by a high-risk OB.

Between the kidney history, the gastric bypass and my "advanced maternal age" I already knew that I'll be considered high-risk, so there was no news there.

He said I should do labs at least every 6 months for now, but suspects that my OB will want them more like monthly anyway. He wants a copy faxed to him, but doesn't need to see me for a while.

In fact, the lab orders he gave me said "post partum" on them, and they said "Afterward, when you're feeling up to it, come back to see us." That was kind of cool.

My blood pressure was 106/62 at the 1st appointment and 108/66 at the nephrologist (after being off all medication for probably two years). Everyone (myself included) was mightily impressed.

So, we know that, at least, my non-baby-making systems are "go" and I'll start finding out more about the actual baby-making parts on Thursday, when I have the HSG.

When we got home, we found that the photos of two of our four donor finalists had arrived (the other two don't have adult photos). They are both quite attractive, so they are definitely staying in the running.

Now we're just trying to sort out in our heads whether the fact that we have their photos should be an extra point in their favor, in that it would be nice to have that to show the kid.

It's a tough call, in that we think that these guys are probably #2 and #4 on our list, at the moment. Of course, in any given month, we don't know which of the four will actually have specimens available, so it may not matter how we've got them ranked, because we may just get what they have.

But, in the meantime, I'm sure we'll spend many more hours agonizing over the decision.

Post #100: 100 Things About Me

In honor of my 100th post (not counting those that I imported from my old website), I've decided to finally do the "100 Things About Me" meme that I've been seeing all over the Internets. Here goes:

100 Things About Me

1. I was born and raised in Texas.
2. I have one sister, 8 years older than me.
3. I have one brother, 13 months younger than me.
4. The first pet I remember was a cat named "Meathead."
5. I enjoyed sports as a kid, but sucked at them.
6. In softball, I always played rightfield.
7. My oldest friend is someone I've known since kindergarten.
8. She and her partner are expecting a baby boy on July 4.
9. In 6th grade, the principal threatened to make us both wear dresses to school for a month if we got sent to the office for fighting any more.
10. It worked.
11. The principal was a lesbian. We are sure she was onto us.
12. I was in the band from 4th grade on.
13. I was Drum Major my senior year.
14. I had no idea that band kids weren't cool.
15. Ok, maybe not the coolest, but I'd never heard the term "band-nerd."
16. I wonder if we weren't as uncool at our school than at others.
17. Or maybe they only said it behind our backs.
18. I was a National Merit Scholar
19. I graduated from college with a 2.67 GPA.
20. I partied a lot in college.
21. I did not study a lot.
22. I taught middle school science for nine years.
23. I love teaching people things.
24. I hated being a teacher.
25. I stayed in it for the summers off.
26. I spent most of my summers, from age 7 - 30 at the same summer camp.
27. It is one of my favorite places on Earth.
28. If I could get past being freaked out by the idea of cremation, I would want my ashes scattered there.
29. Most of my best friends, and some of the most amazing women I know, are people I met at camp.
30. I could probably come up with a camp song about damn near any topic you can name.
31. I realized that I am gay at the age of 29.
32. I should have known at the age of 6.
33. Everybody else knew.
34. I knew.
35. Meeting Shrike is what finally made it worth admitting.
36. That was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
37. I can not imagine going back into the closet in any way, shape or form.
38. I will come to out anyone and everyone.
39. I talk about Shrike the same way anybody else would talk about their spouse.
40. Fuck you, if you don't like it.
41. I am very active in my local and state Democratic Parties.
42. I was not politically involved until 2003.
43. I am a "Deaniac."
44. I'm not so much about policy, though.
45. I'm about the grassroots and the organizing and the event planning.
46. I love to throw a party.
47. I've discovered that I enjoy raising money, too.
48. I don't take "no" for an answer.
49. About anything.
50. I've been called a controlling bitch.
51. That's a pretty accurate assessment.
52. I worked for my state Democratic Party in the 06 election.
53. I've been unemployed since then.
54. The first couple of months were a nice vacation. Now I need fucking job.
55. I need a job and health insurance so we can start trying to have a baby.
56. I will turn 39 in about a month.
57. I don't foresee having a baby before I'm 40.
58. I can't fathom that I will be 40 in just over a year. It's just surreal.
59. Shrike moved in with me the day before my 30th birthday. That was surreal, too.
60. I thought "Oh my God. I'm a 30 year old lesbian. When the fuck did that happen?"
61. Then, we bought our house right after my 35th birthday. Suddenly, I was a 35 year old homeowner.
62. Again: "When the fuck did that happen?"
63. I guess it would fit right into that pattern to become a parent at 40.
64. I'm worried that I'll have trouble getting (or, God-forbid, trouble staying) pregnant because of my age.
65. I thought my parents were incredibly uncool because they were so old.
66. They were 34 (mom) and 32 (dad) when I was born.
67. But I'm still cooler. A little bit.
68. I can't possibly be almost 40, because 40-year-olds are grown-ups and I don't feel grown up at all.
69. Sometimes I feel old, though.
70. Not nearly as often as I used to. I'm much healthier than I used to be.
71. I had gastric bypass surgery in December 2004.
72. I lost about 200 lbs, and have maintained my weight (+/- 5 lbs of goal) since last June.
73. The surgery is one of the best decisions I've ever made.
74. I'm terrified of gaining back the weight.
75. I worry a lot about our child having a weight problem.
76. We're going to get "skinny sperm" to try to avoid that.
77. Skinny, and smart and cute sperm.
78. It kind of creeps me out a bit that most of the donors are so young.
79. I feel like Mrs. Robinson. Or Mrs. Letourneau. Ew, ew and ew.
80. I find it very hard to think of 100 things about myself that are even marginally interesting.
81. Without being too freaky.
82. Wouldn't you like to know.
83. When no one is around, I talk to myself. (Everybody does that, right?)
84. Sometimes I get caught. I hate when that happens.
85. If I'm in the car, I pretend I was singing. Lean over and act like I'm adjusting the radio, etc.
86. I don't think they're buying it.
87. I really do sing along if there's music playing.
88. There's usually not music playing.
89. I like to listen to audiobooks in the car.
90. Or NPR.
91. I'm a nerd.
92. I like nerdy, nonfiction books.
93. Right now, I'm listening to Pilgrims. Wow, those guys were kind of assholes.
94. I think alot of our "Founding Fathers" were kind of assholes.
95. It's mostly that whole slavery and genocide thing that bothers me.
96. Then it freaks me out that if they'd not done all that shit, I wouldn't exist, because my various ancestors wouldn't have all gotten together and made babies with each other and such.
97. It freaks me out to think of the randomness of life. What if my parents hadn't met? What if they'd not been "in the mood" the night that I was concieved? What if my mom had rolled over on her other side and a different sperm had fertilized that egg and they'd had some other kid who wasn't me.
98. The above is way more than I'm comfortable thinking about my parents' sex life. Ew.
99. I'm kind of glad that our kid's existence won't be proof to him/her that his/her parents "did it."
100. And, on that note, I'm thrilled to see that I've managed to come up with 100 things. Whew!

Small Talk Question #2

Still making small talk, in honor of the 5 Minutes for Mom Blog Party

Lee (from whom I stole the question idea) asks:
Tell us 3 things (not people) you can not live without.

Holy crow, Lee, that really is a tough one. I've had to mull it over a bit, but I think I've got my answers together.

1. An internet-connected computer
   This one was easy, and popped right into my head as soon a you asked the question. I live on the internet and get twitchy if I have to go a few hours without checking my email.
   
   
2. My bathroom scale
   When I reached my goal weight, my dietician encouraged me to relax about tracking every bite of food that goes into my mouth and just "eat like a normal person," which - evidently - means "eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full, try to make healthy choices most of the time." (Hmm, who knew?)
   
   I find it hard to believe that I can just do that and not regain all 200 lbs that I've lost, so I have to weigh myself every morning. I allow my weight to fluctuate within a 10 lb range (5 lbs +/-) of my goal weight, and if I see it hit the top of that range, I cut back a bit on the food and bring it back down. If I didn't check in daily, I'd never be able to believe that I'm actually keeping the weight off.
   
   
3. Shrike's big warm college hoody
   Ok, I could probably live without this, but it's something that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy - inside and out. It's probably an extra large, so while it would have been way too small for me a couple of years ago, it swallows me now (huge on her, too), is very thick and warm, and is a lovely shade of purple. (I see you out there, Googling for colleges with purple in their school colors!)
   
   We're trying to refrain from turning the thermostat up past 70 F, so I'm usually freezing, even in the house, and I wear this sweatshirt most of the time. There's just something about the shirt itself and the fact that I've stolen in from my honey that makes me feel good when I put it on.

All Aboard the Baby Train!

You may have noticed that I've checked off a few items on my "How To Make a Baby" to-do list over to your right.

This week, we took the first concrete steps toward making our baby dreams a reality.

We still can't really get to work until I've got a job and health insurance, but the ball is beginning to roll.

As you can see from the list, I've got several doctors that I need to visit before we start, because I have some previous health issues that have to be taken into consideration.

In 1991, I had idiopathic glomerulonephritis, which has been completely resolved for about fifteen years now, but I still follow up with my nephrologist annually (more or less). Of course, given the added strain on the kidneys from even the most uneventful of pregnancies, I'll want him to sign off on the plan.

(Don't worry, I've seen Steel Magnolias, and I don't plan on doing anything stupid!)

In December 2004, I had Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery. Since then, I've lost about 200 lbs and my weight's been stable (at goal) since June 2006.

Of course, I'm much healthier now and in much better shape to be considering a pregnancy, but I will have some special nutritional concerns, both in terms of getting enough calories for myself and the baby and in terms of getting specific nutrients, since some of them (eg. Calcium, B12) are not absorbed very well after the surgery.

Assuming I'm employed and insured in time to have labwork done by then, I have appointments for my 2-year surgical follow-up, dietician consult and nephrologist consult on April 17.

I had a "talking-with-my-clothes-on" appointment scheduled with my OB-GYN for this past Monday. I was going to postpone, waiting for the insurance, but we decided that it was worth the $60 to go ahead and talk to her and get things started.

She gave me a list of labwork that she'd like to see (in addition to the other stuff for my surgeon and nephrologist) and explained a bit about the process.

I will also need to have an hysterosalpingogram (HSG), in which they inject dye into the uterus and take X-rays to look for polyps, tubal blockage, etc.

I'm scheduled to go back to her on April 20 for a Pap smear and the other tests that happen on that end of me.

I asked her what kind of time-frame we're looking at, from when I have insurance and we can start the testing until we can actually start trying. (Assuming no problems turn up that have to be corrected first.)

She said "Oh, a month-and-a-half."

Holy crow! If all goes well, on both the employment and medical fronts, we could be inseminating by June, and if we got lucky on the first try, could have a baby with a year.

In the meantime, we've decided that since insurance won't pay for the cost of the donor profiles anyway, we might as well go ahead and start screening them more in-depth. More on that in the next post.