Weekend Update

It's been a pretty busy weekend, but a rather lazy day.

I started with a trip to CapitalCity for a statewide political training / meeting. That was a lot of fun, as always. It was a little weird to go to bed so (relatively) early, and completely soberly, and feel so refreshed Saturday morning.

Lots of people there had heard the news about Peeper, and I had an opportunity to tell lots of others. Actually, it was announced in a couple of the meetings, one of which I was in, and one that happened before I got there, and I only heard about it. That's kind of funny.

When I finished with the meeting, I met up with Shrike and her family at a family reunion picnic. I was only there for the last hour or so, but it was nice, although it's quite hot out.

Today, we mostly hung around the house, then went to dinner, then tried to do a bit of clothes shopping. Ugh, that was a bust. I did buy a couple of things, but had very little luck at finding shirts that are okay for hot weather, but not practically sleeveless (I don't do sleeveless) and fit but are likely to still fit for a few weeks. Oh, and are appropriate for work.

I'm not sure such an animal exists.

Photo Hunter #61: Bad Hair

Oh, I thought they said Bed Hair.




Why the blue dots? Would you want to be identifiable looking like this?!?

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From My Phone

Partying w/my little political friends. More tomorrow.

Weekend Plans

I'm off to play with my little political friends tomorrow, at a statewide meeting / training in CapitalCity.

My original plan was to take the whole day off work, and get there in time for the first session at 1:30 pm, but it turns out that we're having a business meeting / training in OldWorkTown til around 1 pm, and I'll probably go ahead and do lunch with the others after that, and will likely get to the meeting in time for the last session of the afternoon.

But, there's a dinner that evening, and lots of schmoozing to be done after that, as well as the business meetings in the morning (Two of which I'm co-chairing. Hmm, wonder if I ought to come up with some agendi for those?), so still plenty to do.

I'm hoping that things won't go too far into the afternoon on Saturday, because Shrike's family is having a reunion, noon to 4 pm, and I'm hoping to put in an appearance.

Then Sunday, I suppose we'll be sticking close to home, so I can collect my 24-hour urine, to drop at the lab on Monday morning.

I don't know that we'll be able to leave the house at all, if I'm not allowed to pee away from home. There's a lot of peeing going on these days.

Wordless Wednesday #64: Why Wait?

Thanks to LadyKay's Kiddo#2 for taking this photo and sending it to me!

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Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Well, I'm running a bit late with this, but the gals over at Mombian are still taking submissions, so here we go!

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It's funny, last year's post starts out by talking about the New Jersey civil union law, which had just gone into effect, and now we're both celebrating the marriage decision in California, and keeping our fingers crossed that it will stick.

But, how about a little closer to home?

A year ago, I was just starting the cycle that I thought would be our first attempt at getting pregnant (had to wait one more, as it turned out) and now, here I am - fifteen weeks pregnant!

There are so many things that I could rant and rave about on this topic, in terms of the laws that discriminate against our families, and the assholes who make the laws and the bigger assholes who elect them, but really, I'm more inclined to talk about the support we've gotten from our friends, family, and acquaintances, LGBT and not, in our quest to create our family.

Granted, I don't know what might be being said or thought behind our backs, but we've not encountered a single negative outward reaction to our plans or to our pregnancy.

(Okay, there was one negative reaction to the baby plans, but that wasn't because we're gay, it was because he's an asshole.)

The medical professionals that we've worked with have been completely accepting of our relationship, of our rights to hold each other's hand through every procedure, of our plan to create and parent Peeper.

Everyone else that we've told - family, friends, coworkers, parents of my students, other colleagues - has been nothing short of thrilled for us, even those whom we thought might be less than supportive.

Of course, there have been some "curious" questions along the way, such as "How did you decide who would have the baby?" or "How did you choose a donor?" but that's fine with me.

Hell, I have those questions for other lesbian couples having babies!

I'd like to think that this experience will continue, as Peeper is growing up, but I worry that it won't.

For one thing, we won't just be hanging out with our friends; we'll be meeting and dealing with all Peeper's teachers, his/her friends' parents and lots of other folks who don't generally run in the same (rather progressive) circles where we're most comfortable.

I fear that we might be in for a shock, when we suddenly find ourselves swimming in the "mainstream" of our little conservative town, rather than hanging out on the left bank, with the other commie-hippy-pinkos.

But, I plan to approach these folks the way I approach anyone else when talking about Shrike or our family - with complete nonchalance.

I've found that to be very effective.

I can't remember the last time that I actually announced to someone that I'm gay (probably a receptionist at a doctor's office, when explaining what sort of treatment or services I was looking for), but I come out to people all the time, just by talking about Shrike, in exactly the same way that anyone else would talk about their spouse.

Because, why shouldn't I?

I don't know if that's going to work with the other PTA-Mamas, but I plan to give it a try, and hope that maybe the world is a bit more evolved by then.

Peeper Update

I had an appointment this morning with one of the midwives from my OB's office, and the official diagnosis is that I'm crazy.

Because, of course, everything is just fine with Peeper and I've been a big ol' fret-ball for nothing. But we knew that.

So, to be more specific . . . .

We got a listen with the Doppler and Peeper's heartrate was 145 (I think?) which she said is right what it's supposed to be.

She poked on my belly, and when I asked if she could feel my uterus in there, she showed us both where it is and how to feel it.

Turns out the top is just a little more than "three fingers" below my belly-button. No wonder my tummy's starting to feel a bit firmer. (Although not noticably bigger yet.)

I described the tap-tappity-taps that I felt last night (at dinner, which I blogged about yesterday, and again, as I was going to sleep) and she confirmed that they were Peeper!

She did caution me not to freak out if I don't feel them again for a few weeks, as it is still pretty early, but said that it definitely counts as "quickening."

(I love that term!)

Before seeing the midwife, we talked with a nurse for about an hour, going over my medical history and Shrike's genetic history.

And we got prizes! She gave us a whole bag full of literature and other goodies. Well, mostly stuff to read, I think. But it was free stuff. You gotta like that!

It was kind of funny, though, I figured all the "history" questions would be about things that have happened already, but she also kind of threw me for a loop with a few "future" questions.

At least we knew the answers to "Are you planning to breastfeed?" (yes) and "If you have a boy, do you want him circumsized?" (no) but then she really stumped us with "What pediatrician do you plan to take the baby to?"

Um . . . oh shit.

We've been so concerned with the doctors required to get Peeper made, and then to get him/her here that we've not even thought about who'll take care of him/her once s/he's actually born!

I'm afraid that I looked a bit like an idiot at that point, given that I don't even know who our options are, let alone who we want to use!

So, if you live near us and have a pediatrician that you love (or not!) please email me directly with advice!

Of course, after the appointment, I'm feeling much more confident about things and should be a bit less crazy. At least for a while.

Actually, I was feeling a little better even before the appointment, when I started noticing my belly firming up a bit, and especially after Peeper sent me those Morse code messages last night (s/he's a POW, remember), although I wasn't sure whether to believe that's what they were.

I think that's what gave me the confidence to actually buy some maternity clothes.

(That and the 90% off prices.)

The midwife said to come back in four weeks, but I actually made the appointment for five weeks from now, so as to stagger those appointments with the perinatologist appointments.

I see him on June 25, at which point we hope to find out the sex (!) and them I'm back at the OB's office (seeing the midwife whom I met at Drinking Liberally a couple of weeks ago) on July 7.

I think I'll see them each every four weeks until about 32 weeks, when I'll start having weekly non-stress tests, along with ultrasounds every four weeks.

That should keep me (relatively) sane.

Manic Monday #35

1. You have accomplished a difficult task and hear someone else taking the credit. How do you deal with the situation?
   
   I would certainly be pissed, and depending on who it was (a competitor? my boss? a friend?) I might or might not say something. I might ask someone else to point out that it was my work, not theirs, rather than saying something myself .
   
2. If you had to marry someone that you presently know unromantically, and spend the rest of your life as their spouse, who would you choose?
   Ew, I don't like this one. Not that it would necessarily be that awful being with that person, whomever it might be, but because it would mean not being with Shrike. That said, I really can't think of anyone specific, but I would want it to be someone that I'm good friends with, and get along well with, because that's a lot more important than those other spously things (on a day-to-day living with someone basis).
   
   
3. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now?
   Ew, this question is even worse than the last! I'd start by taking out a really big life insurance policy, so that Shrike and Peeper would be okay, financially. Then I'd just spend all the time I could with them, and with my other family and friends. Sure, there are a lot of things that I'd like to do or see or accomplish in life, but none are as important as that. Did I mention that I really, really, really hate this question?

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Baby Steps

Okay, this is going to sound completely nuts at not-quite-fifteen weeks, and on the heels of my I-can't-even-tell-that-I'm-pregnant rant / whine / insanity a few days ago, but I felt something this evening that might maybe, possibly, theoretically, do-ya-think?, theres-a-tiny-chance-it-could've-been Peeper.

Yeah, I know. I'm swinging from one extreme here to the other, aren't I?

Most things I've read say that women generally begin to feel fetal movement around weeks 16 - 20 (I'm 14w5d), but usually later in that range for a first pregnancy, since you're more likely to recognize the early movements if you've already been through it before.

So, based on that and my general, all-around lack of symptoms, I've not been expecting to feel anything for at least another month or more.

So, what should I be looking for? I've heard the early movements described as everything from "flutters," to "bubbles popping," to "gas-like," to "like when your dad drives over a hill," to "like a muscle twitch," to "a tapping," (your descriptions welcome).

I'd actually only heard the "twitch" description in the past week (usually you hear about the "flutters" - but now, Googling "baby movement muscle twitch" I get lots of similar descriptions).

If I hadn't just read that, I don't know if I'd have even made note of what I felt, but here's what happened.

Shrike and I were at dinner, sitting there waiting for our food and talking, when I suddenly felt something that felt for all the world like a little muscle twitch, but deep inside, oh around my uterine area.

The other way I might describe it is that it was like a very, very light "tap-tap-tap, tap-tap, tappity-tap-tap."

Almost as though there were, I don't know, a person in there or something, tapping on my insides.

It didn't go on a real long time, but long enough for me to feel it, stop and pay attention and feel it again. It was more of a "what is that?" than a "what was that?" if that makes sense.

I suppose it's entirely possible that this was just gas, but I've felt gas plenty (believe me!) and I've been feeling it today (including some probably-gas-related discomfort), but I've never felt anything quite like that.

(When I told Shrike that, here reply was, "Well, have you ever been pregnant before? See, there ya go.")

Or maybe it was a muscle twitch. I can imagine that my uterus is doing all sorts of weird things about now.

Shrike is convinced (or would like to convince me?) that it was Peeper that I was feeling.

I'm not so sure, but I'd like to think it was.

I will certainly mention it to the midwife at my appointment tomorrow and see what she has to say about it.

(This is the appointment at the OB's office, but we won't actually see the OB. Just the history-taking with a nurse at 8:00 am, then Pap smear and a general check with a midwife - which I'm hoping will include at least a Doppler listen - at 9:30 am.)

Other than that, I guess there's nothing to do but wait to see if it happens again, or happens more often, or what.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the after-dinner shopping!

We went to Kohl's to check out the baby stuff there and they had lots of cute things (even for girls - and we tend to prefer the boy clothes) but we're trying not to buy anything else for Peeper until we find out what color we're looking for.

Then I looked at maternity clothes, and although it's awful hard to tell much about fit at this point, and although I feel weird even looking at them, let alone trying on or buying anything.

(I looked at some last week, and just couldn't bring myself to buy any. See previous craziness.)

But, there was some stuff on clearance, for 70% - 90% off, so I couldn't resist that.

Most of it was pretty ugly, but I bought one pair of black pants, regular price $44, marked down to $8.80, and two turtleneck (cowl neck?) sweaters (identical, but is one black, one maroon) regular price $36 each, marked down to $3.60 each!

I also (finally) bought some new bras. They were on sale, too - buy two, get one free. They only had two of the one I liked in my size, though, so they gave those to me at 33% off.

The one I tried on was so much better than my old ones that I just left it on and wore it out of the store - like when you used to get new shoes as a kid.

(Of course, I gave them the empty box to scan. I only steal gas.)

I got them with room to "grow into" - I'm on the tightest hook in the back, and I think the cups are a tiny bit wrinkly/bunchy because they're a big too big (but one number or cup-size down was too small).

They are definitely more supportive than the ones I've been wearing, so between not being squished into too-small cups, and being lifted up off the floor, my boobs look way bigger in these.

I'm not sure how I feel about that (look at me!), but they got a "yes" vote from the peanut gallery, and they are quite comfy, so I bought them.

Ah well, I guess they won't seem so freakishly large once my belly gets bigger . . . .

Oh, on that front - I wore jeans this evening, and I think they might have been a teeny big snugger than a week ago. Hard to say, but maybe. I think my belly is definitely firming up a bit at the bottom - and it's certainly not muscle

Well, I guess I'd better go find my wife, wake her up and move her from whatever couch she's on to the bed, so we can get up bright and early to go check on Peeper.

I'm sure I'll have a full update tomorrow evening!

Furry Fun

This afternoon, we took the pups to a "Furry Fun Day" in a neighboring town, which was sponsored by a local therapy dog group.

There were several vendors, and games and contests for the dogs, concessions for both humans and dogs, and a DJ.

Someday we will learn to leave PerfectPup at home, where she's happy, and just take BigGaloot with us to this sort of thing.

It feels like it would be mean to leave her behind, but she probably would consider it a lot less mean than making her go.

She really is not so fond of crowds of people or, more importantly, crowds of dogs.

(She's like the Shrike of the canine species, except that Shrike is in heaven if she's surrounded by dogs. Surrounded by people, not so much.)

Galoot even seemed a bit nervous and somewhat subdued (for him) but at least he would walk around with us, and was more than happy to greet any other dog that came along - big, little or in-between.

PerfectPup on the other hand, just freezes in these situations, and refuses to move.

She did perk up a bit when I got them a couple of hotdogs, and loosened up again when we got away from the crowds, but I think she'd be much happier just staying home alone for the afternoon.

We spent most of the time encouraging PP to walk, but Galoot and Shrike did get a chance to take a run through an agility course, although I think he went around all but maybe one jump (low enough for him to step over) and definitely went around the tunnels.

(At least he didn't hump them, like Shrike tells me he does the tunnel in the basement.)

I wanted to get some video of that, but they were already in line, and I couldn't get PP to go over there so I could get the camera from her, and then it was their turn, and she left the bag at the gate and aaargh!

I did get some other footage, and I'll try to post a bit, maybe tomorrow. I'm still pretty slow with the editing, so I'm probably not going to tackle it tonight.

Then we came home and watched Best in Show (seemed to fit the theme of the day) before going out to dinner and some shopping.

More about that in the next post.