Well, That Figures

First things first. No, we did not get any big good news surprises from Shrike's beta today.

But, seriously, could just one freaking step of this whole process be simple? Even if it's the part where the universe smacks us down and says "Psych! All those things-working-out-and-ducks-lining-up? Just kidding."

Nope, nope, it can't.

Here's the thing.

(For those of you who've been following our reproductive (and not) adventures from the beginning, this might sound familiar.)

What one would hope to see two weeks after a transfer is a beta in the 100 to 200 range. Anything below 5 is considered to be negative.

Shrike's was 6.4 today.

NurseE said "So it doesn't mean anything hopeful, pregnancy-wise . . . " but she does have to go back on Monday for another beta, just to confirm that it is, indeed, below five at that point.

For the sake of comparison, as to how "not hopeful" it is, when I had a chemical pregnancy with my first IUI (That's what this is considered - an embryo implants and makes it far enough to register on a beta, but not far enough to see on ultrasound.) my beta was 14.6 and they told me to continue taking the progesterone suppositories until the second test, just in case. Of course, the second one was negative.

This time, NurseE said not to even bother with continuing Shrike's shots.

Maybe the difference is more about the fact that I already had a bottle of prometrium and it was just a matter of using up a few more of them for what everyone knew was no reason, versus purchasing a very expensive vial of injectible hormones for what everyone knows is no reason.

Or maybe it's just that much more certain that there's nothing going on at this point.

So, yeah, it's official, but not officially official.

Great.

When NurseE first called, I sent her to voicemail because I knew (I thought) what she was going to say. While explaining it all, she said "So, to make an already painful day even more painful. . . ."

Yep.

I called her back later to ask about the shots, and we talked for a little while, and she said all the right things, as much as one can.

She said, When I saw the results, I thought, 'Are you freakin' kidding me?!'" and told me that these "Not quite no, but it's not going to be yes, either" calls are probably even harder for her (and, of course, for the recipients of the calls) than the "I'm sorry, it was negative," calls, because it just prolongs the wait for the inevitable.

So, yeah. That's what it is. It's not going to happen, but she's got to go back (just to our local lab, not the clinic) on Monday to be told again that it's not going to happen.