Shorthand

When I came home from work today, there was a note waiting on my desk:

Dear Mama,
Can you please clean our litterbox? Mom said we are going to become outside cats if you don't. While I like the sound of that, I think it would scare BoyCat and GirlCat shitless - thus defeating the need for them to become outside cats.

Thank you.
Love,
MamaKitty

Rather impressive, don't you think? It's not easy holding a pen with no thumbs, you know.

Actually, we do things like this all the time, and have lots of little "shorthand" ways of saying things that need to be said, but are better left unsaid. I suppose every couple does.

(Don't they?)

Take the old "cats-write-note-requesting-litterbox change" trick that Shrike used today. The litterbox is my job. I'm not very good at it, and need constant reminding. If Shrike was always leaving notes reminding me to change it, she would be nagging.

But, if she "helps" a cat to write the note, it's cute (and usually pretty clever, like this one) and gets the point across in a much gentler way.

We also blame the animals when we've not done our chores. For example, rather than saying "Honey, I know there's a huge pile of dishes in the sink and I'm really sorry about that. I'll try to get to them soon." I might say, "MamaCat, when are you going to wash some dishes?!"

Or, just the other day, Shrike was lamenting the fact that BigGaloot hadn't taken the trash out, and there were several items balanced precariously atop the can.

Another handy phrase that we use alot is "Yo Mama."

No, it's not (quite) what you think!

A friend of mine, who is a psychology professor, once told me about the "Yo Mama Syndrome" - which basically means that I can talk bad about my family, but you can't.

Of course, it can be applied to just about any topic, not just family members.

If one of us is about to say something that we think might hit a little too close to home, we'll preface it with an acknowledgement that, "This might be a little bit yo (whatever - or whomever - we're talking about), but. . ."

Somehow that pre-apology seems to soften the blow a bit.

It also comes in quite handy as to way to say "Whoa, you're stepping over the line" or "What you just said hurt my feelings," as in, "Ok, you're getting kind of yo ____, now."

It's funny, though, I think that we've deliberately tried to invent "shorthands" for certain things a couple of times and it never really stuck.I guess it's something that just has to develop organically.