Research

Here's what we've learned / done / figured out so far:

I've emailed a few doulas, and heard back from a couple of them. We plan to meet with several, to find one that we really "click" with.

Sight-unseen, the one I'm leaning toward is the only one who actually lives in our town, charges less than the others and is one of two local La Leche League leaders. That all sounds promising, unless we decide that we just don't like her for some reason.

Speaking of La Leche League - the local group is essentially defunct. They "hold meetings" (one evening a month) but the two leaders are the only actual members.

They're not doing much advertising, which is probably part of the problem. The one leader (not the doula) with whom I've been emailing sent me a flyer, with I will give to Midwife K at Drinking Liberally next week, and ask her to post and distribute it.

They ought to have flyers at every OB, midwife, pediatrician and kid's clothing store in town!

The closest Bradley childbirth class is about fourty-five minutes away, meets on Thursday evenings, September 4 - November 13 and costs $200. That would require Shrike to work a weekend evening in exchange for Thursdays off, I'd have to reschedule some monthly Thursday commitments and we'd have to do some driving.

The hospital offers their own course, for $60, but it only meets three times (or one long Saturday - which would actually be better for us) and one of those is a tour.

It just seems to me that we'll be a lot better prepared with twelve sessions than three. Also, if I'm trying to avoid any non-medically necessary interventions, I'd rather learn about how to do so from someone other than the hospital. I just expect their class to be more about "Then, here's what we'll do to you next."

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for whatever interventions are necessary to make sure that Peeper and I are safe and healthy at the end of the day - God knows I wouldn't even be pregnant without tons of intervention - but (in theory, at least - I reserve the right to change my mind when it starts hurting) I'd like to try to do the delivery itself as naturally as possible. (Since there wasn't anything natural about her conception!)

Also, one of the other doulas teaches childbirth classes, as well. So, if we went with her, we might take that one.

As to the childcare possibilities - while a daycare setting is not our first choice, we are thinking that if we do have to go that route, it might make the most sense to select one in Shrike'sWorkTown, because that's sort of in the middle of our "territory," it would reduce the time she's there, by allowing Shrike to drop her right before she goes to work, and me to pick her up a bit sooner, and Shrike would be nearby in case of an emergency. Also, I could pick her up and then meet Shrike for dinner.

We were thinking that the center where Shrike's sister's kids went for years (basically, from 6 weeks til kindergarten) would be great. She and her kids both liked it, and so have other people we talked to.

Then I called them today to ask about pricing.

Hoe. Lee. Fuck.

It costs more than what we're paying for the mortgage, car note and home equity loan.

If we break it down to an hourly rate for when she'd actually be there (they don't prorate for half days, which is what we'd be doing) it would cost about four cents per hour less than what I make.

I could just work mornings and come home to be with her myself, and we'd be the same place financially.

Broke.

So, scratch that idea. We don't know what plan B is, but I'm sure there are cheaper daycares out there.

Well, daycare itself is probably like Plan C or D in the first place, but we don't have any real solid possibilities for any of the preferable arrangements.

Right now, the most promising option seems to be to win the lottery, then we can just both stay home and play with her all day.