Lucky Thirteen

I am thirteen weeks pregnant today, which means that by most reckonings, I am now in my second trimester.

(Can someone please make an official ruling on when each trimester begins and ends? I've read that the first goes through either twelve, thirteen or, according to one source - which I am ignoring as an outlier - fourteen weeks. Or maybe "three months." Aargh!)

Pretty much all I have to say about that is, "Wow."

And yet, I continue to type . . . .

I can't believe that I have been pregnant for thirteen weeks already.

Well, technically, Peeper's only actually been in me for ten weeks and two days.

And, technically, thirteen weeks ago, half of him/her was in a follicle in Shrike's ovary, and the other half was frozen in a vial with a bunch of Popeye's other boys.

And it was only eleven weeks ago that the two were introduced, thanks to our friendly neighborhood match-making embryologist / ICSI-expert.

The part that really freaks me out, though (other than, of course, Oh my God - I'm pregnant! What the fuck!?!) is that it's been nine weeks (yesterday, technically) since we had that first positive beta.

It really still feels like "we just found out" and "I'm just a tiny bit pregnant."

When I bemoan the fact that we have to wait five whole weeks until our next ultrasound (at eighteen weeks, when we hope to find out if Peeper is a he or a she!) I remind myself that we've already known for nearly twice that long.

Of course, we still have a long, long way to go til Peeper is fully-baked and ready to meet the world (on the other hand, if s/he's anything like his/her mommies, s/he may still be rather half-baked at full term) but getting through the first trimester is a huge milestone, in terms of being able to relax and feel more comfortable in announcing our news to the whole world.

(Ha ha ha - she says that as though there's anyone who doesn't know. Who didn't know before the ink was dry on the lab report from the first beta!)

It's all still feeling very surreal, and very theoretical at this point - despite the almost weekly ultrasounds.

I've said before, like a thousand times, and I'll say it again - if we didn't have all those photos I would not believe there was anything going on.

As I've also said before, I know I'm very lucky to have been so relatively asymptomatic so far, and I'm not complaining a bit, but I must say that I'm ready for some more tangible evidence, and to "feel pregnant."

We could start with some belly action. Sure, I could lovingly pat my pooch and call it Peeper, but we all know that's just flab that's been there since well before s/he even considered moving in.

Shrike told me, over the weekend, that she thinks she can see some difference in my tummy, but my pants aren't fitting any differently, so I think she's just imagining things. Or humoring me.

If I poke around on my belly while lying on my back, I might be able to feel a tiny bit of an area that's firmer than the flab, just barely peeking out above my pubic bone, but that could very well be my imagination.

Everything I read, though, says that the uterus ought to be clearing the pelvis about now, and starting to move bellybutton-ward. It seems to me that would be when one would expect to start to "pop" and begin to see a "bump" (although, for some reason, that term kind of squicks me out).

So, I've bought a couple of pairs of pants in the next size up and I'm eagerly awaiting needing them in the next few weeks.

As someone who has struggled with weight issues all my life, I must admit that it's really wierd to be looking forward to bigger pants, but it will certainly be nice to have someone else to blame for my bulging belly for a change!