Daily Peep: Rattle

Can you hear me now?

Santa's New Helper

Sorry, I couldn't handle hearing this thing auto-play one more time.

Go here to watch the video, or make your own free Santa video here.

Daily Peep: Chillin'

Daily Peep: Tummy Time

In an attempt to make my day more than a blur of boobs and poopie-pants, I decided this evening that maybe I should do something with the kid, besides just tending to her input/output needs.

To that end - Tummy Time!

I don't think she's been on her tummy since the doctor at the Children's Hospital was checking her out (over a month ago) and said, "Now, let's see what you can do on your tummy," and I had to confess that she'd never been on her tummy before, mostly because we never put her down.

She did raise her head for the doctor, so she passed the test, but we made a mental note that we should probably do some tummy time.

Yeah, now we're getting around to it.

Any-hoo . . . .

She seemed to like it okay, until she got frustrated with it.

She did some pretty good push-ups, and turned her head from side to side. (And spent more time than made me comfortable with it planted nose and mouth down on the blankie.)

Oh yeah, and she rolled over.

Yep. You read that right.

Six weeks, two days old. (Two weeks, one day, adjusted age.)

Rolled from her tummy to her back.

I don't know which one of us was more surprised. I'm sure she didn't mean to do it, and I probably scared the hell out of her when I said, "Oh my GOD!" and then scooped her up to run to the phone to call Shrike and tell her.

I'm quite sure it was a fluke, and I'm not exactly holding my breath for her to repeat the trick anytime in the next few months (Our "Week by Week" baby book puts it at about 15 weeks, and says, "She might not be able to go all the way over from her tummy to back yet.") but she was on her tummy, she wiggled and squirmed and twisted and pushed off the floor with her feet and ended up on her back.

It sure looked like rolling over to me, and I'm giving her credit for it.

No photos of the push-ups or the roll, but here are some generic hanging-out-on-her-tummy shots.

Daily Peep: Wrap It Up

DoulaK stopped by this afternoon to help me figure out what I'm doing with the wrap that we bought from her. (She showed us at the time, but it didn't stick.)

I'm feeling much more comfortable with it now.

Of course, it remains to be seen if I can do it again on my own . . . .

Six Weeks

Dear Peeper:
You are six weeks old today.

All day long, I've tried to get my head around the fact that, were we not so lucky, and so brave, and so crazy, I might - like many, many other women - have gone back to work today.

I can't imagine.

I don't want to be away from you for one minute, let alone a whole day.

But, I don't want to talk about six weeks, so much as I want to talk about one week.

Last Sunday was a very rough day for me. Mommy was at work, and I was not coping well.

Every time you finished taking a bottle and were happily dozing in my lap, I had to put you down so I could pump.

Then you'd wake up, and I would have to either try to pump with you in my lap, or let you cry, or wait to pump. None of which were good solutions for either of us.

I was beginning to despair of things ever changing. I couldn't imagine that you were ever going to learn to actually nurse, and I was starting to wonder if it were all worth it.

I called Doula K, in tears, and she reassured me that everything I was feeling was perfectly normal, and told me that, despite how it looked at the moment, she had faith that you would eventually get your act together - although it might be another four or five, or even eight weeks.

This Friday and Saturday could have been very rough days for me. Mommy was at work, but I coped amazingly well.

For hours on end, you nursed, dozed, pooped and nursed again. I don't know that I ate anything, I barely drank anything, which is just as well, since I had no time to go to the bathroom.

But you were nursing. And as exhausting as it was, it was what I'd been waiting five and a half weeks for (hell, it was what I've been waiting decades for) and I could not have been happier.

I called DoulaK on Friday and said, "You told me to call you with good news sometime, so I am!"

On Saturday, she read my latest Health Update here, and called me to celebrate your progress.

I can't believe the difference one week has made.

Not only have you, essentially, become a nursing baby, practically overnight (granted, using the nipple shield, but still!) you've also reached the six-pound mark, you've outgrown your preemie diapers, and you've started (almost) fitting into (some of) your newborn-sized clothes.

It's like, suddenly, you are the newborn that you were supposed to be a couple of weeks ago - and that we had no right to expect you to be six weeks ago.

I'm working on getting used to this nursing thing. It's so wierd that I'm not "trying to nurse" you or "seeing if you'll nurse" or "giving you a try" - I'm just nursing you.

Just like that.

I'm still pumping, but just when you're taking a nap and haven't eaten in a couple of hours.

(The thing is, for two days, you told my breasts that they were going to be getting sucked on 24/7 and they responded accordingly. Then you decided to go back to sleeping for four hours stretches at night, and two or three hours in the day time. They are not amused.)

The pumping is not such a chore now, though. For one thing, there's a lot less of it, but also it feels more voluntary now, like "Well, I'm feeling awful full, and she's sleeping, so guess I'll pump and get some relief. Oh look, a couple of ounces of milk to freeze. That's nice."

A very welcome change.

I've not quite decided when and how to transition how we handle the whole feeding thing when we're out and about in the world.

On the one hand, it would be easy to continue taking bottles along, in case you get hungry while we're out.

On the other hand, it's kind of a pain in the ass to take bottles along - when my breasts are always with me.

On another hand, I'm not quite sure how comfortable and secure you are with nursing at this point, to know how willing you'll be to do it away from home, with additional distractions.

On still another hand, I'm not sure how comfortable and secure I am with it yet - especially having to juggle the nipple shield and such.

On a fifth or sixth hand, I'm (in theory at least) quite the "lactivist" about a baby's right to breastfeed anywhere and anytime that she's hungry, and I've been warning Mommy for months (years, maybe) that, "You do know that I am going to get kicked out of somewhere at some point, right?"

And on one last hand, if things had gone as planned, and if we'd not had all this difficulty with nursing, I may well not yet have even introduced a bottle at this point, so we wouldn't have a choice, now would we?

I think we'll probably just play it by ear for a while. We'll take the nipple shield so you can nurse if the situation seems comfortable for both of us, but we'll also take along a couple of bottles (and the pump) in case it doesn't.

You know, I certainly can't say that I'm happy that things have been this difficult, but one silver lining is the bonding that you and Mommy have been able to do.

In fact, in those first few weeks (especially before she went back to work), I was the one feeling left out, because I had to hand you off to her when you were hungry, so that she could feed you while I pumped.

And I really hated that, but on the other hand (there's those damn hands again) I could see how much it meant to her, to have that time with you.

I think it's kind of hard for her, now that things have changed, and I'm trying my best to hand you off when you're done eating, so that she can have as much time with you as possible when she's home.

And I still love watching the two of you together, and eavesdropping on her talking to you, when she doesn't know I can hear.

And I love when we get to have family time - whether it's watching TV together, or she's helping us with a bath, or we're lying in bed talking to you, or listening to Christmas music and looking at the newly-decorated (ok, lit up - that's as good as it gets this year) tree.

Especially the Christmas tree. Every year, once we have the decorations up, we snug on the couch and listen to music (usually The Nutcracker) and talk.

I've always - especially the past two years - dreamed of doing that as a threesome, and we finally are.

I don't know how many years it will be before you are too big, and too cool, to join us on the couch for a Christmas snug, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can.


Love,
Mama

Daily Peep: Mama Just Washed My Hair . . .

. . . and I can't do a thing with it.

Daily Peep

Daily Peep: Milk Drunk

Taking a little break, before going back for the other side.*

*I can't believe she's actually doing this!!!

Health Update

Peeper's doing very well, overall, but we're continuing to monitor and manage some things.

Here's an update on the concerns that I discussed last month:

Issue 1 - Feeding / Growth
Peeper weighed in at 6 lbs 1.5 ounces on Thursday, which her pediatrician was very happy with.

Some of her preemie-sized footie-outfits are starting to seem a bit small on her, length-wise, and a couple are even looking like they might be getting a little snug around.

I think we'd better put her in that one little preemie Christmas outfit every chance we get, before she out grows it!.

I think it's also time to move from preemie diapers ("up to 6 pounds") to the newborn size. The newborns seem huge on her, but she's started to get red marks on her little thighs from the elastic of the preemies.

Most of the newborn outfits are still pretty darn big, too, so her wardrobe may be kind of hinky for a while.

As to the feeding, don't tell Peeper I told you this, because she has a habit of making a liar of me every time I brag on her, but we've had a couple of very encouraging days lately, on the breastfeeding front.

After considering the pros and cons, I tried nursing her using a nipple shield, and so far, she seems to be loving it.

From Tuesday evening through Thursday, she nursed with the shield about a dozen times, and yesterday - holy crow!

Basically, from 3:30 to 11:30 p.m. we didn't do anything but nurse, sleep for a bit, fuss around, diaper change, poop (Yes, in that order. Of course.), switch sides, lather/rinse/repeat.

Yes, you read those times right. Eight hours.

In that time, she was happy (except when poopy/gassy) and I was fine, despite going ten hours without pumping.

(By the time Shrike got home, Peeper had been asleep and not nursing for about an hour and a half, and I was ready to pump, but I was fine until then.)

So, if her tummy was full and my breasts weren't, that's got to be a really good sign.

She had a bit less than an ounce from a bottle right before we all went to bed, because she was hungry but had worked herself up into such a state that she couldn't settle down enough to latch on and nurse, but once she was calm and not so hungry, Shrike handed her off to me and she was happy to nurse.

Other than that, and another ounce or so that Shrike gave her in the middle of the night, she's not had a bottle in about the last eighteen hours or so.

I am, of course, concerned about whether she's getting enough milk (especially using the nipple shield, which makes it harder) so I'm thinking we'll try to get an appointment for another weight check next week I just made an appointment for another weight check on Tuesday.

The pediatrician's office probably already thinks I'm completely neurotic anyway, so what the hell.

She is peeing and pooping like normal, so far, which is good, because a reduction in output would be our first sign if her input had dropped.

Of course, a couple of great days doesn't make everything "all better" yet, and I'm sure we've still got a lot of pumping and bottles ahead of us, and then we'll have to deal with weaning her from the shield to the bare breast, but it's a huge step forward and incredibly encouraging.

I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic, because she's taunted me before, with a good day here and there, but I really think we might finally be on the right track here.

Issue 2 - Jaundice
At her one-month check-up last week, the doctor said that Peeper's still (again?) a little jaundiced, and a check of her bilirubin confirmed that.

However, she said that it's just breastmilk jaundice, which is normal in a baby that's getting exclusively breastmilk, and is nothing to be concerned about or that needs to be fixed.

We'll recheck her bilirubin level next week.

Issue 3 - Temperature Fluctuations
She's all good on this one.

Issue 4 - Heart Murmur
She's been seeing her cardiologist pretty much weekly (although, now it's biweekly!) and he's happy with her growth and eating, but has her on some medications. She's taking Lasix and Captopril to reduce the amount of blood volume going through her lungs, and help slow down her breathing a bit.

She started the Lasix three weeks ago, a week later he increased it and added Captopril and this week, he increased the Captopril.

These increases are to be expected, and don't mean that she's "getting worse." The thing is that, over the first couple of months of life, as the lungs expand and mature, the pressure in the right ventricle decreases, which causes more blood to backflow from the left ventricle, and then go to the lungs.

So, it seems to me that the need to increase the meds is actually a sign that her lungs are maturing and developing as they should.

A few weeks ago I asked the doctor when we can hope to start seeing some shrinkage of the hole and an overall improvement and he said it would be a matter of months before we'd expect that.

So, we're in for quite a haul with the medications and the doctor's visits, but it's something that's quite managable at this point, and should go away within a couple of years.


Issue 5 - Questionable Metabolic Testing
We finally got Peeper's urine tests back last week, and everything looks normal with that, and with her liver functions, so she does not have Tyrosinemia Type I, which is great to hear.

As we've known for a couple of weeks, her blood tyrosine level was still elevated when the testing was done (at 11 days old).

As the doctor told us then, by far the most likely reason is just the "transient neonatal tyrosinemia," so it needs to be checked "in a few weeks" to be sure that the levels are going down.

It's been a few weeks now, so it's time to do that. We thought we'd be able to do the follow-up testing here, but the doctor wants us to go back to the Children's Hospital and do it at their lab.

I think it's a combination of "our lab is better than any other" and the fact that things might vary from one lab to another, so the most accurate comparison would be to do both tests at the same lab.

Also, it took three and a half weeks to get the urine back when we did it here, and it will only be a few days there.

We have an appointment on December 16, and they've asked us to try to collect the urine beforehand, so we don't have to go through that debacle again. If we can't get it the day before, we'll just have then catheterize her there. We hate that idea, but it's got to be done. At least they will have teeny-tiny preemie-sized catheters.

Mostly this is just a check to confirm that her blood tyrosine levels are dropping, which we would expect from the transient tyrosinemia, which we're almost certain is what's going on.

There is one other genetic metabolic disease that's a possibility - Tyrosinemia Type II, but from what I gathered, is even less common than Type I, therefore even less likely that she'd have it.

If she did have that, it's "easily controlled" with a low-protein diet.

If not controlled, the main thing it does is to cause a build up of something or other than affects the eyes, causing vision problems.

When I pressed him about other possible problems, like developmental delays, he said that, "Yes, sometimes there are some learning disabilities," but then reiterated that a> that's only if it's not controlled, and it would be and b> it's very, very unlikely that she has it.


In Summary
It has not been an easy five and a half weeks, but Peeper is doing quite well, overall, and most of her prematurity issues are either resolved or seem to be well on their way to resolution.

If all goes well with the follow-up testing of the metabolic stuff (which we expect it will) then the only real concern is the heart murmur, which we're on top of, and expect to be resolved without any intervention.

Now, if we can just keep her from springing anything new on us for a while. . . .