Forty Months

Dear Peeper:
You are forty months old today. Three-and-a-third.

The past week has been kind of rough, because you've had a cold and felt pretty icky. You've been fever-free and mostly just coughing for a few days, but still obviously not feeling quite up to par, because you're pretty cranky.

At least, we're hoping that it's because you're not feeling well!

One new issue that's arisen - hopefully related to illness, tiredness, exciting books, Mama electing to skip baths and other important steps, etc - is that our previously smooth bedtime routine that's been going very well for the past few months has kind of gone all to hell, suddenly.

Or, perhaps, it's because I was stupid enough to make a comment on Facebook, sharing what our routine is and how well it was going.

Yes, your Mama is a dumbass, and blatently violate the first rule of sleep success: Don't talk about sleep success.

So, in an attempt to undo the damage that I've done, I will now talk about our previously successful routine and our recent difficulties. That should fix things right up, right?

7:15ish - "Ten Minute Tidy-Up" - The first few nights, I set the timer, and we did all we could in that time, and then just left the rest. We started in a different room each night, and after a few nights, all the toys were nice and neat, and we no longer set the timer, because it doesn't take ten minutes to clean up that day's toys. Huh. Funny how that works, huh?

7:30ish - Tiiiiime Fooooor Aaaaaa BAFF!

7:50ish - Out of the tub, into jammies, brush teeth (your turn, my turn) and potty.

8:00ish - Into bed. You close the closet door (It connects to the office, so is a big light / sound leak, and when BoyCat was with us, it was a kitty leak as well.) and turn on your nightlight. I turn off the big light and turn on your bedside lamp. We snug in bed and get goody while I read up to four books. For the longest time, the line-up was mostly variations on the Nutcracker theme, with maybe one or two other books thrown in for good measure. Over the past couple of weeks, we've read some fairy tales, but I've put a stop to that, because they get you too riled up. You have to talk about them, and sometimes act them out. At first, I worried that they were scaring you, but I don't think that's the case. Lately, since I've not been feeling 100% I've been pushing the "Grandma Books" which are some that she's recorded for you, because I just have to turn pages and don't have to actually read.

8:30ish - Lights Out - and get goody on the other side.

Until recently, you conked out pretty quickly at that point, but lately, especially if I've read fairy tales, or let you skip your bath, or - oh man, accidentally let you take a nap - there's been tossing and turning and whining and trying to get up and Mama getting frustrated and much to-do.

A couple of nights ago, during a particularly trying bedtime fiasco, you kept trying to get up. At one point, you were standing on the toy box at the foot of the bed, telling me, "It's ok. It's ok if I get up." Not defiantly, just matter-of-factly. I said, "No, it's not okay." and you said, reassuringly, "It's ok with me." I wasn't sure whether to curse or laugh. I believe I did both.

I hope that the problem is being sick and exciting fairy tales and messed up routine. I really, really hope this isn't our new normal.

On a lighter note, here's your highlight reel from the past month:

---

I walked into the kitchen and find you wearing your crown and sticking your wand in your ear. I asked "What are you doing?" to which you replied, "I can't hear you, I have a wand in my ear!"

---

You and Mommy were brushing your teeth when I overheard, "Oh, good spitting, Mommy!"

---

I asked you what you're going to be when you grow up. I followed each answer with "Really? Anything else?" and got the following career options: Firefighter, Construction Worker, Clown, Panda, Chef, Kitty. And as I was posting that on Facebook, you added "And a DOG!"

---

We must be doing a good job of validating your feelings. While playing in the snow the other day, I said, "Oh Honey, Mama is soooo cold!" to which you replied, "It's okay to be cold, Mama!"

---

You were helping me cook, so I had you hold a couple of pans while I sprayed them with Pam.

The overspray got on you, and you asked why. I said, "I'm sorry, Mama just missed the pan, and got it on you."

So you said, "Do it better. Do it right."

---

One morning, while you were going potty: Here's (your stuffed dog) Bingo. Hold him while I am on the potty. Don't put him in the potty. He will get dirty and yucky. Don't ever do that. Don't do that. I want my dog dry.

---

You: I want to take my jammies off!
Me: Why? Is there something wrong with them?
You: They're flowery and kinda icky.

---

Dogs barking outside. I walk into the room where you are, and you say, "Mama! I have a job for you! Go let PerfectPup in!"

---

You (out of the blue): I wanna see whatcha got.
Me: What I got?
You: Whatcha got in you cabinet.
Me: In the snack cabinet?
You: Yeah, in you snack cabinet.

---

You seem to have a better grasp of search terms than many adults I know. I guess I "type out loud" when finding your Sesame Street videos, because you've started telling me things like "I wanna see 'Grover fly a kite.' Type 'grover' and type 'kite.'"

One evening, you wanted to see "Pictures of AuntieKay's kitties" on Facebook, so you told me to "Type 'AuntieKay' and type 'kitties.'"

When I said, "Okay, I will type AuntieKay's name: (Her Real Name)," you argued with me, though. "Dat's not her name!" I'm not sure I ever convinced you.

---

After checking my phone a million times at the grocery store the other day, looking for updates from Maryland's House vote on marriage equality, and not having any service, after I was in the car, I realized that I somehow had it on "airplane mode."

I said, "Aw dang it!"

You said, "What's the matter, Mama? Did you forget your wallet or something?"

What are you, like thirty years old?

---

Your career plan a week later : Construction worker, kitty cat, bus driver, sheep, fish

---

Me: C'mon, Peeper, let's go pee-pee.
You: I not a fan of pee-pee!

---

During a trip to the potty the other day, I said something about your "booty."

You told me, "No, you hafta to use a grown-up word."

"What?"

"You hafta to use a grown-up word. You don't say 'byewty.' (This is how you pronounce it. So cute!) You say . . . butt."

I never did convince you "grown-up words" aren't actually required for grown-ups.

---

When I told you about Target's "Read Across America" event, I said, "They will read some Dr. Seuss stories, and there will be some prizes and snacks."

Your response: "Will any of them be . . . chocolate?"

---

A couple of days ago, you asked to watch "Bert & Ernie's Great Adventures" videos on YouTube. In Spanish. And then got mad when all I could find were the ones in English.

---

While playing outside today, you went into your playhouse, and started pretending to be the witch from Hansel and Gretel.

Mommy and I were sitting at the patio table talking and only half paying attention to you.

A few minutes later, you came over to us and said, "Excuse me. You're supposed to eat the house."

---

You are something else, kiddo.

And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy 1/3 birthday!

I love you!


Love,
Mama