Monday, November 7, 2011


I think I've mentioned that Peeper "wears panties all the time, now that she's three years old," but I've not given any sort of update on how that's going.

Actually, it's going quite well.

On her birthday, we went to playgroup in training pants, plus some extra absorbancy, and changed them twice, because she'd already peed when I took her to the potty.

A chat with the mom who was hosting us that day (she has two girls, four and six years old) gave me the confidence to go ahead and take her out in public (and, more importantly, to other people houses) in just panties, and she's done great.

(Basically, she assured me that nobody is going to hate me if Peeper pees on their carpet. I sure hope she's right.)

We still have to tell her when to go potty, she's not telling us at all yet, but in the, what, ten days (!?) that we've been doing this, she's gone on the big potty at friend's houses, Target, Red Robin, the grocery store, the convenience store, and Michael's, that I can think of off-hand, has learned to keep herself from falling in - sometimes with no hands! - and has only had three pee-pee accidents - one at home, one in the backyard, and one at T's house. (Sorry, T!)

Each of those times, I'd either said or at least thought that it was about time to go to the potty, then saw something shiny and didn't take her. Then saw something peedy.

She's had probably the same number of panty-poops, but that's nothing new. Two were at friend's houses, but that's only a issue in terms of having to change panties. Better than peeing on someone's carpet!

(My new diaper bag routine is a couple of pairs of spare panties, a pair of pants, a pair of socks (although we generally ditch our shoes at the door at friends' houses), plus one pair of training pants and a diaper, just in case it comes down to that.

I have pre-ordered (for my store, with the plan to snag one for Peeper) some newly-released bumGenius trainers, which are pull on/off, but with a side-snap escape hatch for poopies. One shell comes with five replacable liners, so you don't have to change the whole thing.

My plan was that when they arrive (late November or early December) we'd probably ditch the old faithful (and getting really short in the stride, and increasingly leaky, the poor dears) bumGenius 3.0s in favor of the trainers for night time, but now I'm starting to wonder if we'll need to do that.

That's right. What you're looking at there is Peeper asleep in her big girl bed, wearing nothing but panties.

(What you're looking at beside the bed is Mr. Panda's booty. He's our make-shift bed rail / floor cushion.)

This is the fourth night that she's slept there, and the second night that she's gone diaper-less, and so far - knock wood - so good.

On Friday, I had her all bathed and diapered and jammied when she either pooped (which she often does, as soon as her jammies go on) or had a pee-pee leak (see above, re sad, old diapers) so I was changing her. When she was nakey, she escaped, and hopped up into her big girl bed, which she'd not slept in since before we got sick at the beginning of September.

I offered to finish her diaper there, but she hid under the blanket and said something about going to sleep there.

I asked her if she wanted to get her night-night goody in her big girl bed, and much to my surprise, she said yes.

To my bigger surprise, she actually fell asleep when I nursed her in it (that's a first), which was around 11:30. Shrike got in around midnight and we talked for a while. Peeper woke up, nursed down, woke back up almost immediately (I guess I snuck out too soon) and nursed back down, before we went to bed around 1:30.

To my astonishment, I didn't hear a peep (so to speak) from her until 8:30 the next morning!

On Saturday, she took a long, diaperless nap in her bed (yeah, I wasn't thrilled, but she was soooo tired) and was up until about 1:30 am. She woke back up at 3:30, and I just crawled in with her and slept there for the remainder of the night. Which was not nearly as long as I'd hoped, given that we had no plans to get up early for the next day.

Last night, she was really tired, and was just having a rough time all around. There were tears and wailing and much very uncharacteristic distress.

When I tried to get her diapered and jammied, she was having none of it. She really would have rather stayed nakey, but eventually started crying for panties. I told her that she had to wear a diaper to sleep, because "It's a really long time, and if you're just in panties, you'll get pee-pee in the bed."

To which she responded, "III wooon't doooo daaaat! III wooon't doooo daaaat! III wooon't doooo daaaat!"

Oh my God. What could I say?

At this point in potty training, am I going to force my kid into a diaper, when she's begging for panties and promising (?) not to pee the bed.

No. No, I am not.

I did tell her, though that she could sleep in her big girl bed in panties (It's a crib mattress, thus waterproof), but if she wanted to sleep in the big bed, she would have to wear a diaper. (We do have a zip-on plastic cover on it, but it has ripped - right down the middle. Thus, the only part that's not protected, is right where she sleeps. Of course.)

She opted for the panties in the big-girl bed.

She fell asleep around 9 in my lap, but like a big dumb ass, I blew the transfer and woke her up. There were a couple of false starts at nursing to sleep in the bed, but she finally conked out in my lap around 11:30 or so.

She had pee-peed maybe fifteen or thirty minutes before that, so I just crossed my fingers, and made plans to wash the sheets in the morning.

I crawled into the big bed and snugged my wife (again!), and Peeper slept until about 5:45. The first thing I did when I got to her, was feel her booty - and she was dry!  Before I got in bed, I took her to the potty and we both peed while she whimpered, then I spent about an hour in bed with her before I snuck out. She slept until 7:57 (seriously, clock is going off at 8, can I get three more minutes?) and was still dry!

I told all the moms at playgroup about it, and she went around the room collecting high-fives!

Tonight, we were torturing her on the way home, around 6 pm, to keep her awake, and around 8, she was begging to "go nighty-night in my big girl bed" but when I relented and laid down, she nursed a while and caught her second wind.

While she was back up, Shrike and I rearranged her bedroom, primarily to make it more comfortable for me to nurse her in that bed.

See, the thing is - in the big bed, she's on my right, but I can just roll a little farther over toward her and give her the left breast just about as easily as the right. But that works because the left one is bigger, and stretches farther. (Oh, come on. You aren't symmetrical either. If you think you are, go strip down and stand in front of a mirror. I'll wait. . . . See?)

But, the way we had her big girl bed set up, I had to lie with her on my left, and it was very hard to get the right breast to her. I had to lean way over and tense up to keep from just rolling on top of her, and usually use my hand to keep it in position.

Lately, my neck and shoulders have been really tense and sore, and I'm thinking that it could be related. I was sort of feeling it before she started sleeping there, but it's gotten much worse over the past few days.

So, we finally got around to shifting things around to the places (more or less) that we've been talking about ever since we converted the crib into the big girl bed.

We unanchored the book/toy shelves, put the crib dresser in that corner, scooted the bed up against it, so it's a headboard, and put the shelves on a different wall, then re-anchored them. I also moved a couple of the panda prints (calendar cuts, actually) because they looked funny with the furniture in the new places.

Other than figuring out where the hell the shelves could go, it was really much easier than we evidently thought it was going to be.

I'm not sure I'm 100% happy with where everything is, but it is much more comfortable, and the little dresser is no longer sitting in the big middle of the floor.

The "book nook" isn't so nooky (huh?) any more, but that's okay. When she's taller, we can flip it upright and stick it in the corner, and it will be very cozy.

Shrike really would have liked to have taken both the glider and the changing table out of the room, but for absolutely no logical reason, I just wasn't ready to do that yet.

We've never actually used the glider for rocking/nursing, and evidently, she no longer wears diapers (I'm not promising that we're done with them - that may have been  fluke, and she may not have another dry night for years), but I just can't do it.

Yes, I know, there's plenty of room for diapers - or the new trainers - and "washies" in the crib dresser, if we even still need them, and there's a nice, comfy bed to sit on, but nope, just not ready to make it that much of a "big girl room."

I'm not really sure how I feel about all this.

The potty-training thing, I'm mostly thrilled with, but it is just a little bittersweet.

The big girl bed, I'm very ambivalent about.

On the one hand, I am so proud of her for being big enough to make this decision (at least for these past few nights, who's to say she won't be back in with us tomorrow, for another six months) and to be doing it so smoothly, and on that same hand, it sure is nice to be able to actually snug with Shrike at night again, but on the other hand, I have so loved our family bed, and I sort of miss it.

One thing I'm certain of is that these past few nights have made me even more glad that we've chosen to cosleep for the past three years, because this thing about having to get up out of bed when the kid wakes up in the middle of the night is bullshit. I don't know how people do it with a newborn.

I keep asking myself if I'm pushing her on this, but it really does seem to be her decision. I gave her the option and she really ran with it. I've mentioned the very same option numerous times over the past few weeks, and she's had no interest (except when A and J slept in her bed, of course) but for now, at least, she's all about it.

I've also been trying to "check in" with Shrike about her feeling on the whole matter, and I think she's about in the same place that I am.

She was saying this evening, that while there are, no doubt, things that we are doing wrong with Peeper, and there are, surely, things we're doing that are "spoiling" (ugh, I hate that term) her, that she's sure that letting her decide when she's ready to move out of the family bed and when she's ready to stop getting goody are not among them.

I told her that, in a way, it seems a little unfair, because I still get to cuddle her in bed when we nurse to sleep (and back down) and I sometimes (well, one night, so far) still get to sleep with her, if I conk out before she does.

Shrike acknowledged that, but said that, on the other hand, she doesn't miss it nearly enough to make it worth sleeping in that bed.

I hear ya.

Update - Morning: She woke up around 1:30 or so and I took her to pee and nursed her back to sleep, but she wasn't settling down solidly enough for me to escape. When I woke up around 5 am, I was able to sneak boff, but that only lasted about half an hour. Took her to pee again, went back to bed with her and we both slept until it was time to get up around 8. With those two potty trips, she and the bed stayed dry again!


  1. Sounds like it is all going very well. And I would think that most of the people, whose houses you hang at, have had their carpet peed on before.


  2. I'm sure she'll start telling you soon when she has to go. I remember that my girls would tell me, although my second daughter usually told me too late. She'd get into the bathroom and pee on the floor in front of the toilet. I put panties on them at night and hoped for the best (while covering their mattresses with towels) and they always stayed dry. They knew they could get up and go to the bathroom in the night if they had to. And then, straight back to bed. Peeper is doing well. Is she using the chart you were mentioning a while back?

  3. LK - Too true. T assures me that her K thoroughly pee-peed that carpet during her potty training days, and I'm sure that in a year or so, C will have it pretty wet again.

    Anon - She's getting good at telling us right after she goes, when we don't get her there in time (that's usually poop, as I said, in almost 2 weeks, we've only had 3 pee incidents) but no advanced warning yet.

    I'm sure it will come soon enough.

  4. Oh, forgot to say - we blew through all of the chart except for the "Uh oh! Gotta go!" column within a week or so of putting it up.

    I think she has four stickers for that now, and we'll keep adding them any time she tells us ahead of time that she has to go, but it's still not happening.


What say you?