Getting to the Bottom of Things

Those who are paying close attention may remember that, at Peeper's twelve-month checkup, the doctor gave me the green light to add more dairy to our diets and see how it went.

So, I have.

In a big, cheesey, chocolatey way.

I was still avoiding actual straight-up cow's milk - using soy in my coffee, for example - but pretty much eating anything else that I wanted, on the theory that cheese is pretty processed and modified, and there's not that much milk actually in things. Like milk chocolate.

The results were sort of inconclusive.

We've had no bloody poopy, or evidence of intestinal distress or anything like that, but everytime she pooped, her little booty (and its neighboring parts) was turning bright red.

A red that Shrike described thusly: She could lead Santa's sleigh with her crotch.

(That wife of mine does have a way with words, doesn't she?)

When we were dairy-free, she would occassionally get red for a day or so, but now it was happening all the time.

It was definitely poop-related, because if she skipped a day she'd start to clear up, and as soon as she pooped, the next time we changed her, she'd be red again.

Both my logical and my guilty minds (in rare agreement) said that it was the dairy, but my selfish, cheese- and chocolate-loving mind was in denial.

I'd finally decided that, after the holidays, once we were home from Texas, I would go dairy-free again for a while, and see if that made a difference.

But, instead, well, it was the damnedest thing.

After a day or so in Texas, I noticed that she was looking less red. And less and less and less, and by the time we'd been there a few days, her little parts were a beautiful, healthy, normal pink-baby-booty (etc) color - and stayed that way.

So, I started wracking my brain to think of what she and/or I might be consuming at home that we weren't having while we were in Texas.

We were both having lots of dairy, so I knew that wasn't it.

The first thing that came to mind was coffee, or the soy milk that I was putting in it.

Now, typically, I drink three different sorts of coffee - at home, I have regular-ass decaff with chocolate soy milk, at Starbucks it's decaff espresso with sugar-free syrups and soy milk, and at Sheetz (our favoriate convenience store), it's a soy latte with espresso syrup and sugar-free flavor syrups.

The only common denominator there, really, is the soy milk, since sometimes there's not even real coffee in it.

Also, I had a few similar fake-coffees (with coffee-flavored syrup in skim milk) at the Anonyparents' house, and it didn't affect her.

With that in the back of my mind, I went ahead and ordered my usual at Starbucks on the way to the airport Sunday, and then my other usual at Sheetz on the way home from Dr. Tara's on Monday.

After I got home, I thought of one other thing I wasn't having in Texas - sugar-free Koolaid. I wouldn't think that would cause this but on the other hand, who knows what crazy chemicals are in it, so I suppose anything is possible.

In addition to my coffee-with-soy, I also started drinking Koolaid as soon as I got home, and had several glasses over the next couple of days.

By Tuesday, she was bright red.

Which confirmed that she'd not experienced some sort of spontaneous healing that just happened to coincide with our trip.

So, I decided to cut out the coffee, soy and Koolaid and see what happened.

By Wednesday she was looking better, so I decided to try some coffee with cow's milk. I've had that Wednesday evening, Thursday morning, Thursday evening and this evening.

As of the last diaper change, early this evening, she's looking great.

Since I've already got a pitcher all made up, and since it's the less likely of the two suspects, I'm testing the Koolaid first. I've drunk several glasses today, starting after the first diaper change after today's poop.

(I waited until then to confirm that the coffee I'd had earlier was not going to affect her.)

I'm anxiously awaiting the next poop to see what happens.

If we go a couple of days (actually, a couple of poops) with no reaction, I'll have some soy milk and see if that does it.

I hope to have this mystery solved before her fifteen-month checkup on the 27th.