Monday, December 7, 2009

One Year Bottle-Free

Dear Peeper:

Not counting the day following your surgery, this evening marks one year since you last had a bottle.

A year ago today we did almost exactly the same thing we did yesterday - left you with Eena and Papa while we bought a Christmas tree at Lowe's and grabbed a bite to eat at Arby's.

While we were gone, they gave you what would turn out to be your last bottle.

(Except for the day after surgery, yada yada, disclaimer disclaimer, that. doesn't. count.)

The whole time we were gone, I couldn't help flashing back to last year's tree shopping trip, and thinking about how similar - and yet how different - it was.

We still called home to check in on you several times - but then, it was because we wanted to make sure you were, you know, breathing; today, we just wanted to make sure you were happy.

Last year, we hit the drive-thru and ate our Arby's in the parking lot, while I pumped. Right before that, I been making jokes about giving you a "milk shake" because my goodies were frozen - I was very aware of needing to pump, and the cold seemed to make it worse.

I'd almost forgotten that feeling, because it's been so long. My supply regulated after you had been actually nursing for two or three weeks, and other than feeling a bit full in the mornings, we're all good there. (Knock wood!)

This evening, I walked all over Lowe's, dragged the tree over to the baler, tossed it into the cart, pushed it back through Lowe's, jumped on the cart and "rode" it through the parking lot, and then tossed the tree into the back of the truck.

Last year, I was six weeks postpartum. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Last year, it was a big deal for us to be out of the house alone together; we'd only done that about three times in the six weeks since you were born.

This year, it was a big damn deal for us to be out of the house alone together - we've only done it twice since our last Christmas tree excursion.

Last year, you were a tiny newborn with a heart defect who had finally started nursing, just within the past few days, using a nipple shield. We were still reeling from your birth, your diagnosis, and your very being.

Today, you are a happy, healthy, damn sure "still" nursing toddler. Who walks, and signs and understands pretty much everything we say to you.

And we are still reeling from your very being.

Happy one year nursiversary, my little goody girl!


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