Battery & Assault, Part II

Before I begin this story, I should say that we are both fine. I have a few new gray hairs, but we are perfectly fine.

This little panda had rather a rough evening, at the hands paws jaws of BigGaloot.

As did Peeper and I.

Usually, Mr. Panda lives on the changing table, with his boyfriend Rainbow Bear, but a few days ago, Peeper carried him into the kitchen after a diaper change, and I tossed him onto the dining table.

From there, he went "down on the farm" (onto her Exersaucer) and then into the floor.

When I saw him in the floor this afternoon, I thought, "I should pick that up before Galoot gets it," but then promptly forgot.

This evening, Peeper and I went out in the backyard, and there he lay, in the grass.

Galoot saw me spot him, though, and before I could pick him up, he'd grabbed him, run around to the other side of the year and come back empty-mouthed.

So, Peeper and I went over to get him, and again, just as I spotted him, Galoot ran back over and grabbed him.

This time, he dropped him in the middle of the yard, and ran off to play with Perfect Pup, while Peeper laughed at them.

Just as I approached Mr. Panda, he turned and charged toward us.

I figured he'd grab the panda and run again, or do a fly-by, where he runs right at us and at the last minute turns a bit and zooms past.

Nope.

He ran right into me.

While I was holding Peeper.

It's a little fuzzy, because it happened so quickly, but I think he must have hit me in the front of my legs and then I must have started to fall forward, and turned my body on the way down, because it started with coming toward the front of me, and ended with me sitting on the ground. Peeper still in my arms.

As I fell, my eyes never left her.

My arm was behind her, and as I fell I saw her back arch a little more than I really liked, and when I hit the ground, she went back forward more forcefully than I liked, but evidently the whole thing was a damn amusement park ride for her, because as my ass was hitting the ground, and I was saying (as though I expected her to answer) "OhMyGodAreYouOkay!?!" she was laughing.

Laughing.

I fell down, landed on my ass, had the everloving shit scared out of me, and she laughed.

Of course, as soon as my panic registered, she got a real concerned look on her face, but by then, I'd realized that she was not only uninjured, but had enjoyed it, so I switched to "Was that funny? Did you like that?" and she was all smiles again.

After all that, I did manage to get the panda back into the house.

Which is quite a relief, because it's not like we have fifty more of the damn things in her room.

Oh, wait. . . .