Daily Peep: Three Months

Dear Peeper:

I know it's only been a week since my last letter to you, but holy crow, you are three months old today, and that seems noteworthy!

This is the view that I usually get of you . . .

. . . sleeping on the Boppy in my lap, after nursing.

And this is your (sort of) monthly panda photo:

(You're not nearly as happy about it as you were a couple of weeks ago.)

Your days still pretty much consist of eating, sleeping and pooping, but now there's much more awake time in between, during which you're likely to be hanging out on your changing table, watching your dancing panda mobile or listening to me or Mommy read a book; lying under your dangly toys flapping all your limbs about; squiggling around, trying desperately to connect your thumb and your mouth (are we bad for being so amused by this?); anywhere, staring at something you find fascinating for whatever baby-reason you have; in my lap, playing "stand up / sit down" or, perhaps, screeching your ever-lovin' head off.

You are still smiling and "talking" and interacting with us more and more each day, and at times you really seem to be listening to what we are saying.

We have learned some "baby signs" and are trying our best to remember to use them. You are starting to watch our hands, too, so maybe you are catching on that those funny movements - and funny sounds - we make actually have meanings, if you can just decipher them.

The biggest thing that happened this week was learning that your heart-hole has gotten smaller!

We're hoping this is going to be just one more of those things you've done to scare us, that's turned out fine. You do seem to have a knack for that.

We need to have a little talk about the screeching, though.

Does your tummy hurt, or are you upset about something, or are you just "blowing off steam" at the end of a tough baby-day?

More importantly, how can we make it better?

And if we can't, could you please pick a different time of day to do it?

I would be more than willing to deal with an hour a day of the screeching, one-on-one, if it meant you were happy in the evenings during the few hours that Mommy is home with us.

You two could play together, Mama could take a little break (no offense, kid, but Mama could use a break by the end of the day, even without the screeching) and everybody would have great time.

It's a win/win/win situation, really.

You should seriously consider it.

Or, you know, you could try not screeching at all. That would be good, too.

But mostly, I just look at you and can't believe how much you've grown and changed.

You are probably now double your low-weight, and although you're still the size of many newborns, you just look so mature and grown-up now.

We saw a three-week-old baby last week, and her birth weight was much higher than yours, but she looked tiny compared to you now, and so young, all red-faced and scrunched up.

You now feel so solid and sturdy to me.

You (mostly) have your head under control now, so unless I'm lifting you from flat on your back, or putting you there, I really don't even "spot" you.

Your hands, although they are still tiny, seem so big now, compared to when you were born.

And you are doing more and more with them each day.

I think you are going to be a "fiddler"while nursing. Your top hand opens and closes, and pats and flaps around, looking for something to do.

Sometimes, you are content to hold my finger, or my shirt, or occasionally, a handful of flesh. Othertimes, you just keep flapping and flapping, searching for who-knows-what.

And the mouth. Oh my.

Of course, you've always "eaten your hand" when you were hungry, but that was just more or less rubbing your mouth with your fist, and maybe gumming at it a bit.

Now, though, it seems that you are trying desperately to get either your thumb or some fingers, or anything into your mouth to suck on - but you just can't quite make it happen.

The two main problems seem to be lining up the hand with the mouth, and uncurling your fist.

Either your hand is in the right position, but your thumb is still tucked in, or your fingers are splayed out but the heel of your hand is at your mouth, or your thumb is sticking out and you get it into your mouth, but it goes between your upper lip and gum.

And the other hand is grabbing at the one that's aimed at your mouth, as if to guide it in there, but it's no more cordinated than the first one.

It would be hilarious to watch (okay, it is hilarious to watch) if it didn't seem to frustrate you so.

We really must get some video of these antics soon, before you figure it out and sticking your thumb in your mouth becomes as automatic as getting my nipple into your mouth.

(And who'da thunk, a couple of months ago, that I'd be saying that?!?)

Three months.

I know I say this over and over, but it's still just as true.

You are still such a tiny, new, little person, but you have grown and changed so much already.

It seems like yesterday that we were bringing you home from the hospital, but that also feels like a million years ago.

It seems that we just met, but I can barely remember what life was like before you came.

There is nowhere I'd rather be than here with you, and nothing I'd rather be doing with my days than just being your Mama, but you're not much of a conversationalist, you know.

The days here alone with you do get long, but my God, the weeks - and now the months - are going so fast.

You are so, so different from that terrifyingly tiny little popcorn shrimp of a slimy, scrunched-up little babylet that the midwife plopped on my belly three months ago, it's hard to believe that you are the same person.

And to think that you will change that much again - or more - in the next three months is just almost impossible to imagine.

But I know you will. I'll blink twice and find myself writing to you as you turn six months old, and nine months, and a year . . . .

There are so many things that I look forward to as you grow, but I also know that I'll miss this stage with it's passed. Hell, I already miss (a few things about) those very early weeks.

I know your baby days will go by quickly, so as much as I look forward to the future with you, I will just try to stay in the now, and savor each new phase and each step along the way and each moment as it comes.

Except the screeching. That can stop. Any time.

I love you, my Sweet.
Mama