Overheard: The Crying Baby Delirium Edition

Overheard yesterday evening, on the phone with Frappa (LadyKay's kiddo #2):

Whozat: Well, I guess I'd better go feed this kid, again.
Frappa: Hey, that's your job, Titty McGee!

Of course, I told Shrike about that when she got home.

Thus . . . .

Overheard around 2 o'clock this morning, as Peeper was crying about a gassy tummy, and we were running the vacuum cleaner for white noise, while slow dancing with her, in front of the Christmas tree, trying to distract her with the pretty lights:

(To the tune of, oh, I think you can figure it out)

My bust ain't flat, in fact it's huge, and my nipples are in pain
I'm tryin' not to drip milk on my jeans
Peeper makes a fishy-face, the milk begins to rain
She nurses all the time, or so it seems

I pull my boob out of my stinky nursing bra,
I'm lactatin' while Peeper sucks the boob, yeah
No more pump a-keepin' time, I'm holdin' Peeper's hand in mine
And we sang every lullaby we knew-ew-ew

Oh, "goody's" just another word for sucking on the boob
And sucking, well that's all that Peeper does t'me, yeah
Feeding her is easy, now that she sucks the boob
Feeding her is easy now for me-ee-ee.
Easy for me, I'm Titty McGee!

Yes, there was an attempt at the second verse as well, but I will spare you.