Wham, Bam, Good Luck, Ma'am or Swim, Boys, Swim!

Wherein Whozat Gets Sperminated

Everything went smoothly with our IUI (intrauterine insemination) this morning.

The only small negative (and I'll certainly get over it) is that our doctor wasn't the one who did the procedure. Pretty much, you get whoever is on duty at that location at the time.

This was a guy we'd not met, but he seemed nice enough in a grandfatherly, yet with the power to impregnate me, (ew ew ew) kind of way.

We got there about twenty minutes early, so had a bit of wait, but we certainly didn't want to be late, since the sperm (with its 6 - 12 hour lifespan) would be thawed and waiting for us by 11 am.

Shortly after 11, we were taken into the room, the nurse checked my photo id (to make sure some other dykes weren't stealing our sperm, I suppose) and I got situated (ie naked from the waist down).

After a short (although it didn't seem so at the time) wait, the doctor and nurse came in.

The first thing they told us was that the sperm looked great, with a count of 16 million after the wash, and great motility.

I told them that it had been double-washed (since all our donor had available to buy was already washed, but they don't trust outside washing) and the doctor said, "That's really good, then."

Yeah! Way to go, BowTieBoy!

(According to the sperm bank, their standard for IUI washed is 10 million. He's an over achiever!)

Then the doctor showed us the vial in which the sperm had been shipped, including the donor number label.

(It's TINY - I know we only bought 1 ml, and I know how small that is, but still to actually see the tiny container was kind of w-e-i-r-d.)

He also showed us the vial it had gone into for processing with its label (my name and the donor number), the color-coded (dark orange) tape, the matching tape on my paperwork, the matching patient codes on everything, et cetera, and Ihad to sign that I agreed they were giving me the right stuff.

Then, up into the stirrups I went. The whole speculum thing was less than comfortable, but no more so than usual. He did apologize when I winced, and said, "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get a good view of the cervix."

I guess he got the view he needed, because the next thing he said, in about the length of time it will take you to read it, was:

"And it (the catheter) passes easily through the cervix for a
nice high insemination, and now I'm going to remove the speculum, and give you a few minutes alone."

Me: "What?! You're done?! That was it?!"

Doc: "Yes." (as he's removing my feet from the stirrups, covering me back up, throwing away the used materials, etc) "That's it. We could discuss 'mild discomfort' and such if you'd like, just for show, but we're done."

Then the nurse told us that I have "no restrictions" today (but I did stay home from work, on orders of my boss!), set a timer for five minutes, and told us to stay there, with my knees up, until it went off.

One of them said, "We'll give you a little less glare," and turned off the overhead lights in the room. Then a quick, "Good luck!" and we were alone.

You know, I wonder if there's really any medical need to stay put for a while afterward, or if it's just their way of giving couples a few minutes of alone time during what is a very public way of going about doing something that really should be private.

Either way, we appreciated having that chance to relish the moment.

(But, just five minutes? I've read that most give you fifteen or so. Maybe they were busy this morning and needed the room?)

The details should probably be left just between the two of us, but suffice it to say that there was giggling, and disbelief, and kissing, and a few tears, and instructions to "Swim your lazy asses up there and get that egg!"

(We're going to be just stellar parents, aren't we?)

Then we paid, scheduled my pregnancy test (Friday August 3; I'll have the blood drawn at 8 am and they'll call with results that afternoon), and drove home.

We stopped for lunch at the new Fuddrucker's when we got back in town. We've not been there before, because the one time we started to go, we discovered that they don't sell beer, and changed our minds.

This time, Shrike had to go into work afterward and I can't drink, of course, so what the hell.

I had super nachos, and there's a chocolate chunk cookie (as well as lots of leftover nachos) in the fridge for later. Want to start the kid off right, you know.

When got home, we both took a nap. I lay on my left side, so gravity to could help the little spermies find their way to the egg, which we know is coming from that ovary.

Correction, has come from.

It's now been about 41 hours since the trigger shot, and I've felt some very mild cramping, and then some "twinges" on the left side today. I don't know if that's a reaction to the IUI itself, or ovulation "pain" (which I often have).

So, I'm pretty certain that I ovulated earlier today, and by now, there's a party going on in there.

Let's hope Ms. Eggy picks a partner soon and that he's a good dancer!

But, I digress.

The nap was very nice; I lay on my left side for the sake of gravity, while Shrike snugged me all up. She got up and went to work around 2:30 pm, I slept til more like 5 pm, got online, and here I am now.

I'll take it easy this evening, and will be back at work tomorrow morning, just like normal.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

"Normal" except for spending every moment for the next fifteen days wondering if this worked, if one of those 16 million little gentleman callers found my one egg, if she liked him enough to let him in, if they've both got everything they need to, um, create a whole new freaking human being, if it found a good landing spot, if it's going to "stick," if . . . if . . . if . . . .

Thanks to everyone for all the good wishes and good thoughts so far, especially the past couple of days.

It's great to know that so many people are cheering for us!