Thursday, June 21, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #15


I was kind of stumped for a topic this week, so I asked Shrike for help.

After I vetoed "13 Things You Love About America" (Which, of course, was just a joke. She knows as well as anyone that I'm a Godless America-Hater. It says so on my voter registration card. ) she suggested "13 Reasons You Want to Have Baby."

I said "I can't think of THIRTEEN reasons. There's just one: because I do!"

She said, "No, you can come up with thirteen . . . ." and started listing what she says are my reasons.

Most of them were actually pretty accurate - or pretty funny.

13 Reasons Whozat Wants To Have a Baby
(by Shrike)

  1. She wants to breastfeed

  2. She wants to see their little face looking at her, while breastfeeding

  3. She likes how they smell

  4. She wants to teach them to . . . um . . . go camping!

  5. She wants to change their shitty diapers

  6. She wants to touch their little baby skin

  7. She wants to mold their little brains in her Democratic Godless America-Hating ways

  8. She wants to sabotage the American family

  9. She wants a little mini-her

  10. She wants somebody else to boss around

  11. She wants someone that she can make go get her a Tab*

  12. She wants someone else on her side in arguments

  13. She wants to play with little toes and little fingers

Wow, she does know me pretty well.

*LadyKay can explain this one

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6 comments:

  1. 11. She wants someone that she can make go get her a Tab*

    LOLOL, yep, that's right, that's the best reason that I have found to have kids - the slave labor! :D

    As any of you that have come across my comments may or may not have figured out yet, I am Whozat's sister - her eight years older sister. Throughout our childhoods that of course meant that I was bigger and could make her do my bidding, which was most commonly to send her to "Go get me a Tab."

    (To those of you that are too young to know, Tab was the Diet Coke of the seventies.)

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  2. They are also excellent at find the tv remotes! #5 is not a fun thing!

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  3. Oh- My eldest sister, who is 10 yo older than me- made me her Tab slave also!

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  4. The worst part - and the actual origin of the saying - is that she STILL somehow has that power over me, by virtue of being the big sister.

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  5. I don't know, T - LK's kids were pretty good at LOSING the remote.

    (Or the commote, as her boy called it when he was a little guy.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, they were pretty good at losing lots of things.

    At one point, when they were young, she declared that she was no long buying them puzzles, but would instead just start ripping up $20 bills in sticking the pieces under the couch cushion.

    You know, eliminating the middleman.

    ReplyDelete

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