Wedding Journal: 14 days to go!

Good news - Whozat won't be walking down the aisle naked after all!

After another fruitless shopping trip last Saturday, the suits she ordered finally arrived on Tuesday, and she will be wearing one of them. The pants are 3 sizes too big, and the jacket comes to her knees, but she had them fitted for alterations yesterday, and they should be ready by next Tuesday. We went to the tuxedo store today and bought a shirt, studs and cuff links for her to wear with it.

Shrike tried on the suit she's wearing a couple of days ago, and it still looks as great on her as Whozat remembered!

We're having a bit of a floral crisis, but it should be worked out soon. The lady who made the flowers put them in the mail (US Mail) to Whozat's parents at the end of December, and they still haven't arrived. The lady agreed to make a second set and send them UPS this time, but we had a minor miscommunication, which delayed things a bit, and she just got them finished and should ship them on Monday.

We shipped off two big boxes of wedding supplies to Whozat's parents today, so we won't have to take them down ourselves. They went UPS, too, and Whozat will probably be tracking all these shipments on an hourly basis, until they arrive!

We also both got haircuts today; it was a little weird for both of us, getting it cut before our bangs are absolutely out of control, but we wanted to get past the just-cut funkiness before the wedding. We're not out to our hairdresser (well, not officially, but she can't be that stupid - we always come in together, Shrike always pays for both of us. . . .) so when she asked if we had any plans coming up, Shrike told her we're going to New Orleans in a couple of weeks (we are going there for our honeymoon).

Whozat mentioned that we were spending a few days with her family first, but that "Shrike is more interested in the New Orleans part." (True!) We did manage not to giggle when she commented that it's handy that we came in when we did, since our hair will be at that perfect stage for our vacation. . . .

Whozat's sister emailed her this week and said she's coming to the wedding - she's be praying about it for almost two years. Whozat wasn't thrilled with some of what she said, but at least she is going to be there.

We've been trying to get RSVPs back (the "deadline," according to the invitations, was a week ago). We've gotten definite answers from just over half the invitations we sent.

Right now, counting us, we have almost 30 definites, about three who've responded with "maybes," a couple we haven't heard from, but think will probably come and about 10 that we have no idea about. And that's after sending out an email to all but 2 or 3 of the non-responders, asking for an answer!

The cake will serve 72, Whozat's mom is probably ordering the other food for 50, and we'll probably end up with between 30 and 40, so we hope these folks are hungry!

Whozat's still obsessing, of course, making lists, talking of nothing else, and driving Shrike nuts, but her theory is that if she weren't obsessing, it wouldn't be getting done, so she has to.

In the next couple of weeks we have to buy gifts for our family members that are involved (we've already bought for everybody else), put together the album, locate recordings of a couple of songs and burn the CD of ceremony music, finalize who's doing what so we can print the programs, work out the rest of the details of clothes, hair, etc, figure out when we are rehearsing, figure out a schedule for the day, fill everybody in on it . . . .

Did I mention Whozat is obsessing?

Wedding Journal: 26 days to go!

We have been quite busy the last couple of days and Whozat is a total, as Shrike would put it, "Fret-Ball!'

We went shopping Saturday and came up empty handed on clothes, but we kicked ass at the Party Store. We got cups, plates, napkins, champagne glasses, forks and spoons (didn't see a need for knives), tablecloths, decorations (heart confetti and garland for the tables), thank you notes and a pen (It's kind of "cheesy" but it has hearts on it, so we liked it. It's a regular pen, not a "wedding" one, because we think the big feathers are stupid.)

We also went to Target and registered for a bunch more stuff and bought film. At the mall we found a little basket for cards and a silver-look heart-shaped bud vase - we're doing a thing in the ceremony where we exchange roses, we'll put them in the bud vase afterwards, probably on the table with the certificate.

We found the bud vase at J.C. Penney, but had some other things to look for, so we just took it with us to the other departments. We didn't find anything else we were looking for, so we gave up and left the mall. On the way to the car, Whozat was holding Shrike's arm, and asking her if that was ok, did it make her uncomfortable (walking through the mall parking lot in our little hick town), did she want her to stop, etc. There were some people standing by a truck as we passed by, and a car alarm was going off somewhere.

Suddenly, we heard a loud "clink" on the ground right behind us. Shrike thought Whozat had kicked a bottle or something, but Whozat's first thought was that someone had thrown a bottle at us.

We both turned around, and saw the bud vase lying on the ground. Shrike said, "Oh, your vase just fell out of the box."

Then we both yelled, "OH MY GOD!" as we realized that the reason the vase wasn't tucked safely inside a bag was that we hadn't paid for it!

We'd carried it all over the store, and then walked right out with it!

Needless to say we hurried back in and paid - and we did not mention any of this to the clerk who checked us out! Although, maybe we should have - we couldn't have been in trouble; it was obviously an accident, since we went back, but maybe they should know how easy it was for us to do.

On Sunday we went to Walmart (where we didn't steal anything) and finally found candy dishes for the tables. Whozat had envisioned heart-shaped glass dishes, but we ended up with red plastic. At this point, they are hearts, so they will do!

Our original plan was to put Valentine's Day M&Ms in the dishes and scatter Hershey's Kisses on the tables, but now we are leaning toward blowing off the M&Ms (thinking that might be chocolate overkill), putting the Kisses (and maybe some Huggs - in Valentine's Day wrappers, of course) in the dishes, and getting small boxes of conversation hearts to put at each place, along with the bubbles.

Whozat thinks it would be a shame to have all this Valentine's stuff and miss out on the conversation hearts - they don't taste very good, but they are fun. We've eyed the wedding conversation hearts that are for sale at several of the wedding websites we've visited, but they have a lot that say things like "Bride and Groom" or "Mr. and Mrs." and Whozat doesn't want to go to the trouble of digging all those out before serving them.

She would do it, too.

When we were "dating" (as we refer to the time period when our relationship was primarily online, before Shrike moved to Texas), she sent Shrike a big bag of them, but first she went through and removed all the ones like "My Guy" and all the ones that were at all negative, like "Slow Down" or "No Way."

She put the leftovers in the fridge, and a few days later her niece spent the night, and found them. She was reading them all before she ate them, and Whozat was so worried that she'd ask why they were all so negative!

But I digress. . . .

We also went to the Hallmark Store on Sunday and bought an album/guestbook. We went with a "do-it-yourself" one, so we wouldn't have to deal with all those "blanks" that we don't need. We got the album itself, which is basically a three-ring binder with an "Our Wedding" design on the front, some photo-pocket pages that came with it and a couple of packages of blank scrapbook paper. We'll wait on buying more photo-pockets until we have the pictures developed and know what we need.

Whozat is working on making up the pages for it on the computer, we'll go ahead and print out most of the information, since it will be a lot more legible than either of us writing it in! We'll even print out a couple of pages with little blanks for guests to "sign in" at the wedding and at the party that some friends are throwing for us after we get back.

Sunday evening we finished putting labels (with our names and the date) and ribbons on the bubbles and packed up most of the things we'd bought to ship to Whozat's parents in Texas, so we don't have to take it all down when we go. We'll send that off as soon as we find a bigger box, or a second box, since we filled the one we have and then found a couple of bags of cups that we'd missed.

The biggest crisis at the moment, at least for Whozat, is what the hell to wear. We thought we both had pantsuits that we could wear "if we don't find something."

But after not finding anything Saturday, Whozat figured she'd better try hers on (since it's the same size as the ones she was trying on - and not buying - at the stores). Alas, it seems that the jacket that was just fine in September, when she wore it last, is a bit on the snug side now. It might be looser in a month, but given the wedding stress that's going on, we're doubting that!

She found one online that she likes the look of and has ordered it in two different sizes. We're hoping they will arrive some time this week (They'd better, for the almost $30 we paid for "Premium" shipping!)

If one of those works out, we'll just send the other one back. She'll need to have the pants taken up a couple of sizes because they won't let you mix and match, you have to get the whole set in all one size, even if you aren't, so we have to find somebody to do that.If that doesn't work, then we'll probably be doing some more shopping next weekend.

Shrike seems to have decided to wear the suit that she already has, but maybe she's just keeping quiet about her own clothing crisis until Whozat has resolved hers?

There are still tons of things to be taken care of, but we made a whole lot of progress this weekend and checked several things off our lists of "Things To Do" and "Things To Buy," so we're feeling like it's a little more under control.

Of course, Whozat is still totally stressing....

Wedding Journal: Less than a month to go!

We are starting to get pretty close here, and Whozat is starting to panic about how we're ever going to get everything done in time. Shrike keeps reassuring her that, even if something doesn't get done, we'll be there, our guests will be there, and it will be wonderful. It's not helping much!

Whozat's mom ordered the cake yesterday, and is supposed to be checking on prices for the meat/cheese trays today. Her parents have paid for the cake (and the church) which is a huge help - as is all the running around and phone calling her mom is doing!

The last time Whozat talked to her mom, they discussed the rehearsal dinner, including the big question: "Who's paying for it?" We really wanted to have it at this great seafood restaurant in Whozat's hometown, but it's a little pricey, and we'll have somewhere between 11 - 17 people.

Whozat told her mom that since they were paying for the cake, we might be able to handle the dinner; her mom suggested that maybe they split the cost with us. We also discussed the possibility of just going somewhere less expensive.

Well . . . Whozat got an email from her mom yesterday, telling her all about the cake, and also saying that her brother (and "Man of Honor") has decided that he wants to pay for the rehearsal dinner, as his wedding gift! What a guy!

We've also written our vows - our friend who is making the Certificate of Commitment was asking for them, that got us moving! The minister sent us some ideas, and Whozat copied a bunch more from various websites (both gay and straight) then we just picked the parts we liked, cut, pasted, and patched together until we had something that we agreed on.

We've heard from the lady who made the flowers; she has shipped them, but they haven't arrive yet - things seem to be a little backed up from the holidays. So, we are still holding our breath on that one!

Shrike is off this weekend (she usually works on Saturdays) so we're going on a shopping spree. We plan to look for clothes for the wedding, buy cups/plate/etc. and decorations for the tables, and go back to Target to register for some more gifts. Shrike has a gift certificate for a nice restaurant in the town we're shopping in, so we plan to reward ourselves afterwards with a fancy dinner!

We still have a ton of stuff to do, and Whozat is making lists like crazy, but we're making progress - we might actually get it all done in time!

Wedding Journal: All the Details

Well, it's been quite a while since the last update, and we've done quite a bit of work in that time.

We sent out the invitations in early December. We bought the paper at the local Staples and Whozat designed them and printed them out. We got 75 invitations (sent about 50?) and extra envelopes (since they only came with one, and Whozat wanted to do inner envelopes, too) for about $50.

Shrike discovered that there are tons of wedding flowers listed on Ebay, most of which seemed to be from florists auctioning standard "packages." We found some that we liked, but of course, the package they were offering wasn't quite right for us, so we contacted the lady and asked what it would cost to get what we need.

She has been extremely helpful, even suggesting on some things, like altar arrangements, that it would be cheaper for us to just get them from Walmart, rather than ordering them through her or from a local florist.

While we are a little nervous about ordering them this way, we figure that anybody who suggests that you buy from someone else to save money must be "on the up-and-up."

We ended up getting our bouquets, tossing bouquets, corsages for our moms, our sisters, the minister and the readers, boutonnieres for our dads, Whozat's brother, Shrike's brother-in-law and Shrike's nephew, and a pin-on flower for the ring pillow (with a little looped stem to hold the fake rings) for $51, including shipping.

Since we'd decided that large potted plants, that we'll buy locally, would be best for the altar, she even throw in a couple of big bows for them! They are all silk roses; our bouquets and the boutonnieres are red, and the corsages are white, since we're asking the women to wear red. She has them all made and will be shipping them early next week.

We're having them sent to Whozat's parents, so they'll already be in Texas. When they arrive, Whozat's mom is going to "pass judgment" on them and make sure they look ok, and her dad is going to email us some digital photos of them.

We also talked to the minister a few weeks ago, and we really like her. She's sending us some suggestions for vows, and we need to get to work on that soon, so that we can get them to our friend that's doing the certificate.

The next order of business will be to get the cake and food arranged. Whozat's mom has all the information about the cake we want, and she is planning to find a bakery to do it as soon as the holidays are over. She will also do some checking on prices for the rest of the food. We'll feel a lot better when we know what all that is going to cost us!

We also need to start shopping for clothes for us to wear for the ceremony. We each have a pantsuit that we love, but they don't match at all, (Shrike's is gray, Whozat's is tan/gold) so they won't really work.

We'd like to both wear white, or off-white, pantsuits, similar to those, but we don't hold out a lot of hope of finding that. If one of us can find one that we like that matches the one the other already has, we may go that route. Wish us luck!

So, it seems to be coming together, we can't believe it's only 40 days away!

Before the Blog: Ringing Out the Old

Again, it's been forever since an update here, but we've been pretty busy lately, what with the holiday and wedding plans.

Shrike started a new job in November, doing the same thing at a different newspaper for lots more money. She works evenings, but Whozat's boss has let her adjust her schedule so she can afford to wait up for Shrike at night and we can at least have a little time together before going to bed. The hours are kind of a pain the ass, but we'll put up with it for the money!

Because the wedding is so close, we didn't go to Texas for Christmas, but we had a really good holiday here with Shrike's family. Her nephew is almost 3 1/2 and was really into Santa Claus this year, and her niece, who's now 6 months, enjoyed the wrapping paper!

We're having some friends over this evening to ring in the New Year, so Whozat will need to stop working on the website and start getting things ready pretty soon!

Wedding Journal: All Set!

As of last Thursday, it's official - we've scheduled the minister, reserved the church, booked the honeymoon and bought the plane tickets! The wedding will be on Saturday, February 10, 2001.

A couple of weeks ago, Whozat stumbled upon some half-priced flights from BigCityTwoHoursAway to New Orleans, let her imagination run wild, and the next thing we knew, we had a wedding planned!

The tickets are only good through February 15, so that made choosing the date easy. They had to be bought be last Friday, so that got us on the ball. We ran the date by our parents and got their okay, called the minister we'd been referred to and found out she was available, and decided to go for it. We didn't even get confirmation that the church was available till after we'd bought the tickets!

So, here's the plan:
On Thursday, February 8, we'll fly from BigCityTwoHoursAway (about 2 hours from us) to New Orleans (about 6 hours from Whozat's hometown, where the wedding will be.) We missed our chance to get a good flight, so we won't leave until late afternoon, and won't get into New Orleans until a little before six, so we'll be really late getting to Whozat's parents' house.

Meanwhile, Shrike's family will probably fly down that day, into Houston (about 2 hours from Whozat's hometown) and will probably actually get into town before us.

Friday will probably be spent running around and getting things ready, and we'll probably do the whole rehearsal/dinner thing that evening.

The wedding will be Saturday evening, and we'll probably go out dancing at the local gay bar after the reception, with anyone from the wedding who'd like to join us.

Sunday, we'll probably do brunch with our families or something, and Shrike's family will head back to Houston to fly home. We'll drive back to New Orleans and spend two nights there, at this great little bed and breakfast that we've stayed at before. On Tuesday, we'll fly back to BigCityTwoHoursAway, drive home from there and try to be ready to go to work the next morning!

We've also lined up a friend of Whozat's to take the pictures, and another friend, who does beautiful calligraphy, to make our Certificate of Commitment. Now, if we can just find someone who wants to do the flowers...

Wedding Journal: We're Back On

Yes, it's been over a year since the wedding update. In July we decided to reset the wedding date to February 12, 2001, but that was while Whozat's computer was down, so we couldn't do an update.

It's probably just as well, though, as a few weeks after that we realized that, that being a Monday, there would be a lot of people who wouldn't be able to come.

We then changed the date to January 1, 2001 - also a Monday, but most people would be off work for the holiday, and we could combine it with our trip to Texas for Christmas, and not have to pay for an extra set of plane tickets, etc.

However, we've recently talked with some of Shrike's family and realized that we're not the only ones for whom buying plane tickets at Christmas time would be a problem, so we're looking at moving it - again.

We're beginning to feel like the "little dykes who cried wolf!"

We still can't afford to add another trip to the schedule (money-wise or vacation-day wise) so we're thinking maybe sometime in the summer, when we'd be going to visit anyway - possibly Memorial Day weekend, so we'll have an extra day to work with.

We're supposed to get together with Shrike's mom and sister sometime next week and figure out a date. We'll let you know what we decide.

In the meantime, though, we have been doing a good bit of planning. We were hoping that Whozat could work out a deal with a chapel for free rental in exchange for web design, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so now we're working on getting in touch with the Unitarian Universalist Church down there. We've been in contact with, what we can figure out, is a gay "church" that meets in the UU building - they have a lesbian pastor, and we really like the sound of that.

A couple of weeks ago, when we thought the wedding was 3 1/2 months away, we went over to Target and registered for gifts - that was fun! We don't need much in the way of "housewares" so we picked out fun stuff. We've thought of some other things we need since then, too, so we'll probably go back and add to our list - a few times!

We've done some scouting for things like bubbles, invitation paper, cake toppers, etc., and found some pretty good prices. We think we've decided to blow off the idea of the two little plastic brides on the cake, and go with a small framed photo of the two of us. We saw one that would be perfect - it's heart-shaped and has a rose running along one side. It should match the "theme" perfectly.

We have decided, by the way, that we're still going with the whole red-hearts thing, no matter what time of year it ends up being. If nothing else, we can claim it's in honor of our having first met (real time) at Valentine's Day.

Guess that about sums up what's been going on lately, watch this space for the latest updates of the ever-changing wedding date!

Before the Blog: New Wedding Date?

Well, Whozat's been busy catching up with things on the website, adding various resources we've discovered in the last few months, fixing some typos, etc. Looks like the wedding date will be changing - again - we'll post an update when we have it figured out.

Before the Blog: We're Aunts Again!

Finally! Whozat's computer crashed on June 25, and, as of today, it's finally fully functional!

So, on with the long-overdue update....

Picking up where we left off - on June 12, Shrike's sister gave birth to a baby girl - she's 3 1/2 months old now, and she's smiling and laughing, and doing all those other wonderful baby things.

As mentioned elsewhere, our wedding plans are back on track, more or less. We're hoping for January 1, 2001, but a lot of the plans have been on hold while the computer was down, since Whozat's hoping to work a deal with the woman who runs the chapel where we'd like to have the ceremony, for free rental in exchange for redesigning their website.

The computer was mostly functional as of Saturday, and she's already posted a sample design for approval - she'll be giving them a call later this week, to see if this will work out - keep your fingers crossed for us!

Other than that, we've been staying pretty busy, with one thing and another. It's pretty late right now, and about bedtime, but watch this space for plenty more updates in the next week or so.

Before the Blog: Home From Texas

We got back in town on Sunday from spending a week with Whozat's family in Texas. It was a great trip; we got to visit several friends and eat at all our favorite restaurants!

(Shrike will readily concede that the food in Texas is better than that in BlueState!)

We spent last weekend in Houston, particularly in Montrose (the gay area of town). We went out dancing Friday night and hit several bookstores Saturday afternoon, and of course, spent way too much money!

Shrike spend most of the week with a cold, and about the time we got back, Whozat came down with it, so that part wasn't too fun.

Monday night Whozat walked into a chair leg and was convinced that she'd broken a toe, until X-rays proved otherwise. So, she's spent the last couple of days being a big ol' whiner, and Shrike's spent them babying her!