Saturday, June 30, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
We had our appointment with Dr. T yesterday, and she'll be sending a letter to our RE saying that we are not, in her professional opinion, too crazy to have a child.
Or, at least, that we're ok with the idea of people knowing we used a donor.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
13 Ways In Which Whozat Is So GayGet the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
- Moved in with Shrike after having spent a total of 10 days together
- Then waited nearly 10 years to get around to trying to have a baby
- Own the complete works of Melissa Etheridge
- And the Indigo Girls
- Extensive collection of baseball caps, and a rack for storing them
- Rainbow Fiestaware
- Spikey-dykey-do hair
- Attended summer camp for 20+ years
- More pets than humans at our house
- Have purchased frozen sperm
- Not only attend PrideFest ever year, but staff a booth
- Own not one, but two Xena posters
- Kiss girls - well, that one girl
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007
When I saw the pic of MamaCat nursing the kittens on your blog, I thought that your readers must be holding their breaths to see what the BrotherCat looks like now.Thanks!
In hopes of alieviating their sleepless nights over the subject I thought I'd send you a picture of him to share as the occasion arises.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Dr E's office has a variety of consent and release forms that we both have to sign before they'll actually do anything to me.
I didn't realize when we were actually there last week that they all need to be either signed in front of a witness at the office, or notarized.
Because the office is an hour from home (but practically next-door to my job) I'll go alone for the various ultrasounds and other monitoring-type appointments, and Shrike won't be going with me again until the actual insemination.
So, we went over to our bank this morning to have the papers notarized.
Easier said than done.
First, none of the forms actually had the "notarize here" stuff printed on them, so she had to type it onto each one separately. Also, some didn't have enough white space for it, so she had to put it on the bank, which kind of freaked her out.
I finally just told her to put it on the back, and if it wasn't good enough, we'd deal with it later.
I told Shrike afterward that she could have knitted us a fucking baby blanket in the time it took to notarize four damn forms.
(She did, however, tell us "Good luck with everything!" as we were leaving. That was sweet.)
Somehow, I managed to get down to work with about ten minutes to spare, so I thought I'd pop in at Dr. E's and drop off the paperwork, to make sure that it was all kosher. (It was.)
While I was there, I asked whether our sperm had arrived. It was supposed to have shipped out on Friday, and I was expecting it to arrive yesterday.
(We won't need it for 2 - 3 more weeks, but Dr. E's office will store it for free and the cryobank will charge for storage.)
Nope, they'd not seen it. We wondered if perhaps it had been sent to one of their other offices, so they called over to check on that. Not there, either.
During all the back-and-forth about that, I found out that they don't actually have storage facilities at the location I'm using, only at the other one.
Luckily though, it can be couriered back and forth between the two.
When it shows up.
After a very busy day at work, I finally found a moment in the late afternoon to call the cryobank, who checked with FedEx and told me that it had been delivered to my location at 11:30 am (I was there at 10:30).
So, it seems to now be in Dr. E's possession, but they'll have to send it over to the other location for a couple of weeks, then courier it back when we need it.
Let's recap, shall we.
These little guys started out at the Cryobank, in . . . um . . . SpermState.
From there, they were shipped to Dr B's office in BlueState.
Last cycle was a no-go, so they shipped back to the Cryobank.
After couple of days there, they went back out, to Dr E's office in NeighborState.
Tomorrow, I suppose, a courier will take them to her other office, also in NeighborState.
In two to three weeks, when I'm about to ovulate, the courier will bring the back to her WorkTown office.
(Unless, of course, I'm going to ovulate on the weekend, in which case we'll do it at the other office, as it's the only one open on weekends.)
And all that, before it ever gets near me!
It's a good thing we're doing IUI, and they won't have far to go to find the egg, once they're inside me.
The poor dears are probably exhausted already.
Monday, June 25, 2007
As you may have surmised from some recent comments, I finally gave my family the link to this blog.
On Saturday, I received an email from my niece (LadyKay's #2 kiddo), who is 20 (Oh my God, that can't possibly be right, can it? People with 20 year old nieces are old!) which included comments about several of my early posts.
Had she commented here on each individual posts no one would see them except new readers who are catching up (as she is).
But, sending it via email, I'm the only one who gets to see them.
And some of them are definitely worth reading.
So, with her permission, here are her comments about my first couple of months of posts.
(The links will take you to the original posts to which she refers.)
Along with a few counter-comments of my own.
Thanks for stopping by, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
And, So, It Begins
"...followed her north to a very red area of a fairly blue state."
We should switch places?? 'Cause we're in a blue dot of a fairly red state...
Yeah, we don't like to talk about this, but my sister and her kids are - shudder - Republicans.
"What will I be writing about? Everything. And nothing. And a few things in between."
Oh!! Thank makes so much more sense than "Shrike and Whozat...between." Before I thought maybe you'd turned into a 14 year old... X-P heh.
"...perhaps, the occasional political rant."
You?? Nooooooo...you NEVER talk politics...roflmao
And, as a Republican, she kind of hates it when the Democrats in the family (ie - everyone else) talk politics. Which, I suppose, is understandable.
"...and tend to assume that everyone is just dying to hear exactly what I'm thinking, doing, or obsessing about at the moment."
Really? I hadn't noticed.
a bumcurrently between assignments,"
Between assignments...gotta remember to call it that. :)
"...I realized that I'm starting to narrate my life in my head, as though I were writing a blog post."
That's just sad.
Laissez le Bon Temps Rouler!
"If you can't read the packaging in the photo, let me explain. Ranger, the border collie-ish dog here, is one of several who run a day care. In this playset, Ranger is also operating an ice cream stand. The dog. Is selling ice cream. To be-diapered babies. With pigtails. Well, of course."
W. T. F.
Who the hell came up with THAT idea!? And when is CPS [Child Protective Services] going to check on their kids!?
"If anyone is interested (Bueller?) I'll be happy to post the recipes that I used for the cake, as well as the muffalettas and hurricanes."
I got the good stuff down here... X-P mwahaha
The Thinks I've Thunk: #1
"Food coloring bottles have always reminded me of tiny little men - gnomes, perhaps - wearing pointy, color-coded hats."
AHHHH!! They do!!!!!
"Is that wierd?"
Yes. Very much.
How Not to Cook a Pot Roast
"It seems that when I put the ceramic-put-the-food-in-it part of the crockpot into the metal-gets-hot-and-makes-it-cook part, I caught a bit of the cord between them. As it heated, the insulation on the cord melted and it must have shorted out."
THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE THE CROCKPOT ON WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE YOU NUT BUCKET!!!!!!!!!! But I'm glad you still have a house. :)
That's the whole point of a crockpot, though. To cook dinner while you are gone all day!
A Word About Anonymity
"Hell, if they know my real name, they can just Google it, and all that info will probably come right up, because I've put it out there in about a zillion places, for one reason or another."
You are THE only [Whozat's real name, including hyphenated last name] on the planet. "[Whozat's real name, including hyphenated last name]" with the quotes brought up 676 hits on Google. All you.
"I like the idea of being free to rant about specific people or situations that piss me off, without worrying that the subject will read what I said."
And if they do read it, hell, even if they know it's them you're talking about: as long as you change the names they can't sue you. If you don't change the names they can attempt to sue you for crapping on their character. Then innocent have nothing to fear; all names have been changed to protect the author from the guilty.
Well, I also worry about pissing people off, or hurting their feelings or making it awk-ward when I have to continue to deal with them on a regular basis. But you do make a very good point about the legal issues. Of course, if it's true, it's not slander.
"Also, you've probably earned immunity from my public rants. Unless you really piss me off."
Dun dun dun.
And the Oscar for Most Inane Response Goes To . . . .
About Tammy Etheridge breastfeeding their twins:
"Or is that just what's to be expected of Joan Rivers?"
Yep...sad, isn't it?
"On the other hand, I saw the shots of Tammy in that strapless dress during the ceremony, and I certainly can't argue with Joan's assessment ;-)"
There's a show called Yes, Dear and there's one episode where the mom sneaks and breastfeeds her kid after having said she's going to wean. When the husband finds out about it he confronts her about her lying and says that if she's not ready to deal with that separation then she shouldn't force it and she breaks down and says she doesn't want to wean and loose the wonderful boobs! ROFL.
How To Make a Baby
How to make a baby checklist
1) Go to bar
2) Find willing "donor"
3) Consume alcohol
4) Go to bathroom with "donor"
5) Make baby
6) "Lose" his number
Of course, that's the evil way to make a baby...but it's ahellofvalot cheaper so things even out.
She makes a good point. A little hard to do the genetic screening that way, of course. And Shrike's not so keen on the idea.
Who's Your BabyDaddy?
"We also agreed that the third one (who turned out to not be "ID Consent") was a distant third choice, because we were less than impressed with his academic record and test scores. Is that elitist of us? We were saying "Well, we shouldn't rule him out completely . . . ." but then we kept finding ourselves referring to him as "the dumb guy.""
Yes, because of all the crap Hitler pulled about breeding a master race, we find ourselves feeling guilty about ruling someone out because of certain qualities. But think of it this way: if you were looking for a husband to father your children, would you choose someone who didn't challenge you mentally? No. You wouldn't. He'd have to be at least as smart as you, wouldn't he? Same thing, you're just taking out the insert tab A into slot B part...and the husband part.
"The sperm bank recommends that we choose at least three, since they can't promise that our first choice will be available."
You could always hack into the database, get his home address, knock on his door and say jack off into this cup. We want you.
Don't think we haven't considered it. Of course, if we're at, say a restaurant, and see a cute guy, we often joke about asking for a "to-go cup." Yeah, I know. Ew.
"Our better sides tell us that shouldn't matter and we should only get the adult photos of TheGuy, so that we can show them to the kid, but our shallower sides want to make sure he's cute!"
For the record, I LOVE looking at old pics of my ancestors (however distant or near they may be) at various ages and seeing/comparing them to pics of me at various ages and seeing all the similarities. It's neat.
Yeah, I'm kind of torn between wanting things to work out with BowTie, since we like him best, and hoping for Popeye, since we have more photos for him.
It Occurs to Me . . .
"That I've formatted our "donor wish list" in exactly the same way as the ingredients lists for the recipes I've posted. Is that wrong?"
I don't know about wrong but it is creepy as hell.
Our Other "Kids"
"How will you keep BigGaloot from eating the baby?"
Yeah, if only there were some piece of furniture that you could put the baby in where the dog couldn't get them...maybe something with bars and a soft pad for baby to sleep on...hrm...if only.
Touche' - But, note that this is coming from a person whom I'm not sure has ever seen the inside of a crib. My sis was an attachment parent before attachment parenting was cool.
Google Cooking: Chicken, Pineapple, Rice
"Googling "Chicken, Pineapple, Rice" (I think) gave me a recipe for Chicken Pineapple Stir-Fry, which I made for lunch today."
Why'd you google those ingredients?? That's easy: Hawaiian Chicken on a bed of rice.
That's what I wanted, but I didn't have a recipe. Shrike gets kind of nervous when I just "wing it" in the kitchen.
Google Cooking II: Broccoli Boogaloo
"So, back to Chef Google to search for "rice, chicken, broccoli."
Broccoli Rice Casserole!! Chicken either inside for a complete meal or on the side as the meat. Good night woman! Read a cookbook!!
Again, that's what I wanted, but it's much faster to Google the recipe than to read every cookbook in the house.
"1. Things that scare me: Bugs (especially roaches)"
Decapitated body of a poisonous snake in hand, she jumped on the table to flee from the tree roach and screamed Kill it, kill it, kill it!
True story. It happened at summer camp. I had just decapited the coral snake myself.
"10. Things I think you should listen to: Your heart, Your gut, Your partner"
Grandma says, "Your mother." She didn't really say that but I'm guessing she would.
Good point. Although, Shrike and I once had a long talk with them about our life plans (when we were considering our move to BlueState) and she talked about how, at some point, you have to live your life based on what's best for you, not based on making your parents, or anyone else, happy. It was kind of wierd. But very cool.
"Shrike's grandma turned 81 on Thurday and, that same day, went into the hospital with some gastrointestinal issues."
Well...happy fucking birthday to her!!
Mingle - Mingle - Mingle
"Pour yourself a big glass of beverage-o-your-choice, serve up a plate of
horse durveys. . . hors deour. . . hor d'ourves. . . appetizers and join the conversation!"
Small Talk Question #2
"I live on the internet and get twitchy if I have to go a few hours without checking my email."
Somewhere online is a picture of what appears to be a skinny girl snorting crack...but the white powder spells out "MySpace"
Thursday Thirteen #3
"Songs To Get Stoned By (Mix Tape)"
Nice...real nice... X-P
Hey, it was the 80s!
Okay, well I'm in April of your blog but I've been up all night and am really drooping so I'm off to sleep and snuggle kitties. :)
God sent us BabyKitten 'cause He knew I needed a lap cat :)
They have a new baby kitty, whom she rescued from the dogs next door.
Keep up the commenting, and I'll see you soon!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
When Shrike got home from work a few minutes ago, I was sitting on the couch watching TV.
I saw her car pull into the driveway, then saw her walking past the front window, staggering under the weight of . . . what?
I opened the door and looked out, to see her carrying this.
What in the name of God is that?
If you can't tell from the photo, he's about three feet tall!
It seems that one of her coworkers brought him in to the office today, to get rid of, and she snatched him right up, just for me!
And I love him - in the most ironic, kitschy way possible!
This little guy is definitely going to be serving cheese and crackers - or maybe cookies - at our next Christmas party!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
On Wednesday, my oldest friend and her partner welcomed a son into the world.
He was born just before 3 pm (Central Time), weighing 6 lbs 6 oz and measuring 18 3/4 inches long.
He's been a long time coming, and there are no words to express how happy I am for them, nor how much we're looking forward to seeing them all when we go to Texas in a couple of weeks, for my parents' 50th anniversary.
Act I: Overheard at Our House This Week:
Whozat: Do you know what your dog did today? He ate a pair of my panties.
Shrike: How did you know?! I threw them away!
Whozat: No, I threw them away.
Shrike: The white Hanes Her Way, that you don't really like?
Whozat: Noooo, the red Jockeys. That I love.
Shrike: Um, there was also a pair of cobalt Jockeys, a couple of days ago.
Yesterday, she bought a clothes hamper for the bedroom, and I've been instructed to use it. At least for underwear.
Act II: Evidently, He's Also a Bad Influence on the Kitties:
Today's topic is all about returning purchases.
- What's the oddest thing you've ever returned?
Sperm. Although we've now un-returned it.
- Do you return things you don't like or just keep them?
Sometimes I return them, other times just keep them.
- What's the largest item you've ever returned?
I can't think of anything really big, but my brother once returned a car that he was going to buy, and Shrike is considering returning the PS2 that she bought with her birthday money.
- Have you ever returned a dress/outfit you wore to a special occasion?
I haven't, but a friend of mine once bought a dress, wore it to her father's funeral and then returned it. With her mother's blessing. She wasn't the kind of girl who would normally wear anything even remotely funereal.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Act I: "Information"
As everyone knows by now, our vial of sperm was returned to the bank earlier this week, since we weren't able to use it this cycle.
When I talked to them on Tuesday, they said that they'd call when it was processed in "the system" so I could let them know what to do with it.
They left a message on the answering machine yesterday,
"Um, this is Some-Chick, from Name-of-bank-minus-the-"cryobank"-part, and we received the, uh, um, information . . . ."
So, now we have yet another name for it.
Act II: Too Much Information
Earlier today, Shrike had her blood drawn for the tests that the RE requires.
Later, the lab called and left a message saying that they needed to get some more information from her.
When she called back, they said that they had three questions, regarding consent.
(I assume that's about the HIV test?)
The first question was "Do you understand why you're having this test?"
She said, "Well, my partner is trying to get pregnant, and I have to be tested for STDs, too."
"Ok, so that's a 'yes'?"
"Um, yeah. 'Yes.'"
Thursday, June 21, 2007
I'm sorry the blog suddenly got all ugly, and I'm working to fix it.
I was investigating how to better customize my template, and in the process, clicked on "revert to classic template."
When I did so, I got a pop up telling me that I would be able to restore my current template.
I've tried uploading the backup that I'd saved.
I've tried reselecting the template and reapplying my customizations.
When I preview it, I see the right version, but when I go to it for real, I get this awful, ugly, "classic" template.
After I vetoed "13 Things You Love About America" (Which, of course, was just a joke. She knows as well as anyone that I'm a Godless America-Hater. It says so on my voter registration card. ) she suggested "13 Reasons You Want to Have Baby."
I said "I can't think of THIRTEEN reasons. There's just one: because I do!"
She said, "No, you can come up with thirteen . . . ." and started listing what she says are my reasons.
Most of them were actually pretty accurate - or pretty funny.
13 Reasons Whozat Wants To Have a Baby
- She wants to breastfeed
- She wants to see their little face looking at her, while breastfeeding
- She likes how they smell
- She wants to teach them to . . . um . . . go camping!
- She wants to change their shitty diapers
- She wants to touch their little baby skin
- She wants to mold their little brains in her Democratic Godless America-Hating ways
- She wants to sabotage the American family
- She wants a little mini-her
- She wants somebody else to boss around
- She wants someone that she can make go get her a Tab*
- She wants someone else on her side in arguments
- She wants to play with little toes and little fingers
Wow, she does know me pretty well.
*LadyKay can explain this one
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007
This blog is now the number one Google result for the search term "obsessed with peeing on sticks."
We had our initial consultation with Dr. E, the Reproductive Endocrinologist, yesterday and it went very well. We really liked her, and she spent a lot of time telling us everything that we'll need to do, as well as answering all our questions.
She does not see a need to start with Clomid or anything similar at this point. She reminded us that although, on paper, I am an infertility patient, we've not even tried yet, and we could get pregnant the first time. She said that she's had very good luck with other lesbians who don't have any actual issues of their own, just a lack of sperm.
It will, however, be a much more intense process than what we were looking at with Dr. B, and she gave us quite a list of things-to-do in the next three weeks before the first insemination.
- Prenatal Vitamins
She gave me all the chewable samples that she had, plus a prescription for more, and said to go ahead and start on them.
- Get a permission slip from my nephrologist
This is a "CYA" thing - she just wants it on paper that he doesn't have a problem with me getting pregnant, in terms of the affects on my kidneys.
- Talk with a social worker
This is required for anyone using donor gametes (eggs or sperm). Generally the discussion is about whether, when and how to tell the kid how they were made. That's kind of a no-brainer for us, but we still have to do it. She kind of apologized about it. We're already scheduled to see Dr. T next week, so were going to see if she can just write us a note, instead of having to schedule a special appointment with this stranger.
I have to do 7 days of doxycycline before we "start sticking things where they don't belong" (the IUI insemination). They've got me totally freaked out about that - take with food, don't take with milk, don't take with vitamins or calcium, stay out of the sun, remain upright for 15 minutes after taking, may cause nausea. Jeez-us
- Get the sperm back from the bank
It was returned to the cryobank on Monday and should have arrived yesterday. They will call us shortly to find out what to do with it. Instead of paying for storage there, we'll just have them send it to the RE's office, where they have storage facilities.
(This kid is going to be quite well travelled. The sperm will have been to three states, before it's even conceived!)
In addition to the vial that we own, there are only 4 more vials of BowTie left, and he's no longer with the program, so there won't be any more coming (so to speak).
We debated whether to buy it all up, but that would be about $2000, which would be wasted it we don't need that many attempts.
If it doesn't leave the bank, they'll buy it back at 50%, but then we'd be paying $150/month to ship to the RE.
On the other hand, if we shipped it all now and stored at the RE, we'd be stuck with the total cost.
Popeye, our second choice, has more than 50 units in stock, though, so we've decided to try with this one that we've got and if it doesn't work the first cycle, we'll stick with BowTie (purchasing it as we go) as long as he holds out.
If we run out (or someone buys it up) we'll switch to Popeye. We've got no problem with him and there's the advantage of having the adult photos.
When we thought about it in terms of, "If someone said 'BowTie costs $1000 more than Popeye,' would we pay it?" that kind of put it in perspective.
We'll get the baby we're supposed to have, with the donor we're supposed to have. If BowTie sells out, he wasn't our donor.
On Day 3 of my next cycle, I'll have blood drawn to test a bunch of hormone levels, as well as a few other disease-type things that we didn't cover before. I'll also have an ultrasound that day to look at, well, I'm not exactly sure what. Ovaries? Uterus?
Funny thing is that Shrike also has to be testing for STDs and the such, since even though she's not physically making the baby, she would be exposing me to any cooties that she has. (As though I wouldn't already have been thoroughly exposed over the past nine years!) Dr. E apologized for that one, too.
Starting around Day 10 (or when we get home from Texas, which ever comes last) I'll pop by the RE's office on my way to work for daily ultrasounds of my ovaries to monitor the development of the follicle(s). I may or may not also have bloodwork done at that point.
- Triggering Shot of HCG
When the follicle(s) reach the right size, I'll get a shot of HCG to make me ovulate roughly 24 hours later. They might do this in the office when I'm there for monitoring, or we could do it at home.
They discussed having us take a class on how to give injections, but since it's just the one shot, since Shrike has some experience (giving daily insulin to a diabetic dog, as a teenager) and since her mom is an RN who could help us (instruct Shrike or do the shot for us) they said we don't have to do that
- IUI Insemination
Within 24 hours of the triggering shot, we'll do the insemination. Dr. E likes to inseminate just before ovulation, so the sperm are ready and waiting when the egg is released. She sometimes does 2 inseminations per cycle, but since that would not double our chances, it's not cost-effective for us, so we'll just do one.
- Take progesterone
This helps to make an nice comfy uterine lining, and to maintain an early pregnancy until the placenta takes over a few weeks in
- Pregnancy Test at 15 days post-insemination
This will be a quantitative HCG, to give my exact HCG levels, not just a "yes" or "no."
- If Negative
Repeat for about 3 cycles before considering Clomid
- If Positive
- Recheck HCG levels every couple of days for a while to make sure they go up like they're suppposed to
- Continue to take progesterone for a few weeks
- Dr. E will monitor me through week 8, then release me to Dr. B
Well, that sounds easy enough!
This is my stash of prenatal vitamin samples (36 days worth) that the RE gave me yesterday, along with a prescription for more.
Fun Fact: The pretty gift bags that I brought them home in are what they usually use for sperm collection cups. It seems that would be counter-productive for fellas who already have fertility issues. Hard to be manly carrying something like that.
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Check out the review of this blog at So Many Blogs, So Little Time - 9 out of 10, Baby!
Here are a couple of excerpts:
I really like this blog. I could be redundant and exclaim that I LOVE IT... ok, yes. I admit. I love it.
They seem to have a wonderful relationship, it's very clear to see throughout the writing. I wish you the best of luck in starting your family, and many happy years together as a couple.
Upon reading that, Shrike said, "That's pretty funny how they think we have a wonderful relationship. Did they read the part about me acting like a dick?"
Silly girl, you weren't acting like a dick, I just said you were acting like a dick.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Oh. My. God.
What the hell was I thinking?
Remember a couple of months ago, when I submitted my blog to be reviewed by the gals over at So Many Blogs, So Little Time?
You know, back when I had nothing but time on my hands, and nothing to do with it but compose witty (I'd like to think) blog posts?
Yeah, well, they're scheduled to stop by tomorrow.
And here I am with nothing to talk about but my reproductive system.
And not even in a good way.
(Although, now that I think about it, that might spice things up a bit . . . . )
So, please, everybody try to look really interested.
And leave some insightful comments.
And, for the love of God, help me think of something worth writing about!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Still no surge, and the gentleman callers are shipping back to the bank tomorrow evening.
More and more, though, I suspect that I did ovulate around Wednesday (when I had the spotting), even though the pee sticks never showed a surge.
A positive reading requires that the test line be at least as dark as the control line, and it was never close to that. However, for several days it was about half as dark. On Tuesday it was even dark enough that I followed up with a digital test (negative) just to be sure.
As of Thursday or Friday, though, the test line has been barely visible.
I've also been taking my basal body temperatures, and starting Thursday or so, I've seen it drop and then head back up, which is a pretty good sign that I ovulated.
Other signs support that Tuesday / Wednesday / Thursday was the window of opportunity.
So, I'm pretty sure I was surging early in the week, just not enough to convince the sticks that it was for real.
Maybe I have a "sharp" surge that's only really high for a few hours, and it happened between tests? (Which were only 12 hours apart!?!)
Or maybe my less-than-100% kidneys aren't clearing enough of the LH into my urine to register?
At any rate, there will be no inseminating this cycle, even though it looks like I did ovulate while Dr. B was in town, and we could have tried, if we'd only known at the time.
We have an appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist on Wednesday, to discuss our plan for the next cycle.
At the very least, I assume she'll be doing more high-tech monitoring, and I won't have to depend on the pee sticks to tell me when it's time to act.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
- Two words that describe you best:
- Two words that describe your personality:
- Two words that describe your taste in clothes:
- Two words that describe your home:
Friday, June 15, 2007
Warning: Once again, this post contains more information than anyone needs to have about my reproductive system.
In other words, no news is no news.
No news, no surge, no nothin' yet.
Well, that's not totally true, I did have some wierd spotting on Wednesday. I've never spotted mid-cycle, so I wasn't even sure, until I checked with Dr. Google, that it could be a sign of ovulation.
However, with no visible LH surge, Dr. B didn't trust it as a sure enough sign, so did not want to inseminate on Thursday.
She's now out of town for the weekend, so I'm hoping that was just a fluke, and I'll see a surge Sunday and ovulate Monday, when she's back in town.
Ha ha ha.
That said, her office has made arrangements for FedEx to pick up the "gentleman callers" late Monday and take them back to their freezer until next month, and I've got an appointment with the RE on Wednesday to discuss the plan for next cycle.
One plus did come of the false alarm on Wednesday / Thursday. Because of logistics at work, I felt the need to go ahead and tell ED1 about the plans. She's ED2's sister, remember, so she was there for all her in vitro adventures.
She's totally supportive, as well. In fact, when I first said "I'm about to start trying to get pregnant," she said "Oh! You're going to make me cry!"
Then she had tons of questions about exactly how it all works, how we selected the donor finalists, and so on. I was really enjoying the chat (if someone's willing to listen, I'm more than willing to talk) but we, unfortunately, we were interupted by an appointment arriving that I had to deal with.
Of course, that was after we'd already been interupted by Dr. B's office calling to say that she didn't think we ought to try that day.
"Oh, well, never mind to all that stuff I just said about how I might need to leave early."
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wow and wow.
I got the most incredible, rambling, incoherent, crazy-talking comment I've ever seen today.
It was in "response to" my post from Tuesday, titled Mind Games, but it had nothing to do with it.
I assume someone is posting this manifesto everywhere, and holy crow it's fucking wierd.
I will probably delete the actual comment, because I don't want to attract the kinds of folks who would be Googling this stuff, but I can't let it go without documenting the insanity, so . . .
13 Crazy Statements In My Most Recently Received Comment
- The gods will tell people whatever it takes to get them to continue their behavior uninteruptted.
- They switched them out with a clone before the incident/Iraq.
- Please share with the audience about the cases of the disfavored attending Temple whom you are "persuading" to leave, ultimately with "hands-on" tactics.
- Many of you understand clone hosting, for they told you when you "die out" you would be granted a clone host body.
- They are grossly disfavored, just like the candidate, and the gods will segment that individual accordingly, telling them they are earning by being wicked.
- You need to fix your problems and get off Planet Earth before you have children.
- When they use "magic" to peak you euphorically for sex resist.
- Money is not an issue on the other planets, and profit, interest and excessive consumption are things that hurt you in the eyes of the gods.
- This is not by accident. Expect they [20-somethings] will be an important generation ("in charge", etc) when the battle between the Anti-Christ and Second Coming of Christ ocurrs.
- Like the disfavored survivors in the audience, people who are getting fucked by the gods.
- The gods micromanaged the Etruscans into their role as Romans, just as they micromanaged me with Artificial Intelligence into the role they scripted for this Situation
- Oshkosh is a clue just as Lake Michigan and Green Bay are clues::::Oshkosh is the ejaculate clue:::Life springs forth from this region. Expect your traditional Second Coming of Christ to come from the region.
- They grant trans and many homos a high level of privilege telepathically (knowledge) so as to give them a false sense of security, very important to compel them to schedule their sex-change operation.
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007
GirlCat, looking through the blockade that we've erected to keep BigGaloot out of their food and litter box. The gobs of fur on the doorway are mostly hers and BoyCat's; it's a pretty tight fit for them.
Learn more about Wordless Wednesday.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
I know that my chances of ovulating in the next two days, before Dr. B blows town for the weekend, are slim to none.
I know it, because that's what I've told myself eleventy bazillion times over the past week.
But still, I think that somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm expecting it to happen.
I'm afraid that the ridiculously naive, "all will be fine," pee-cup-half-full, Polly-fucking-anna part of my brain is still fully expecting me to ovulate in time, expecting to inseminate this cycle, expecting to find myself expecting in a couple of weeks.
The logical, consider-the-odds, precisely-measure-the-actual volume-of-liquid-in-the-glass part of my brain is, of course, telling me that I'm much more likely to ovulate on Friday (just missing her) or Saturday.
It's telling me that it was silly to even order the sperm this month; we should have just waited for the next cycle.
It's telling me that I should've taken Dr. B's advice to go with the RE from the get-go, rather than wanting to do "one natural cycle first."
What was the reasoning behind that, anyway?
Because we like Dr. B, and we were hoping for her to be the one to impregnate me?
Because, although we've been told that the chance of twins on Clomid is less than 10% and the chance of higher-order multiples is almost none, we're still a little nervous about that?
Because, on some stupid level, I feel like using Clomid is "cheating" and I wanted to at least see if I could do it "on my own" first?
D - All of the above?
Of course, there's still that huge third part of my brain that still feels like this is all just crazy-talk, and all just pretend and speculation and fantasy and that we're just somehow play-acting as "people trying to get pregnant."
In part, I guess it's hard to feel like we're "trying" if we haven't actually "tried" yet.
How can we be trying to get pregnant if there aren't any sperm around?
Maybe once we do our first insemination, it will feel a little more real. A little more like it's actually happening, rather than just something we're talking about and thinking about.
(Granted, talking and thinking about a whole fucking lot.)
I don't know when the possibility of actually having a baby might seem real.
On the one hand, everything we plan these days is based around the idea that I might be pregnant soon, and we might have a baby not-quite-as-soon.
We've already sort of made it part of our reality, even though it's not real yet.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem real at all. It doesn't seem possible at all.
I guess because I've looked forward to being pregnant, to having a baby, for so long - since childhood, actually - that it still just feels the same as that.
It's hard to convince myself that it's any closer to real now than it was then.
Maybe because we don't know that it is.
And, of course, there's that whole thing about how parents are grown-ups.
I don't feel grown up at all. Certainly not grown up enough to have a child!
And yet, the biggest question that looms over this whole process is whether I'm too "grown up" to do it.
Now that we're finally ready, have I already missed my chance? I can't even go there.
My logical head tells me that, given my age, given the one-try-per-cycle with frozen sperm, that we're in for a long haul here.
It tells me to expect several months of disappointment; to be prepared for the possibility of some really big disappointments along the way.
That damn Pollyana side, though, she's doing her best to convince me that I'll have a baby in my arms by Easter.
She's a cruel bitch, that Pollyana.
I'm doing my best to not let her set me up like that, but damn she tells a good story, and it's one I'd love to believe.
How, exactly, does one "hope for the best, and prepare for the worst?"
You would think I would have run out of "hands" and "minds" to hold all my different thoughts about it all by now, but I seem to just keep making more.
As soon as I think I've sorted out how I feel, some other, completely contradictory, feeling surfaces.
What's amazing is how I can manage to keep them all in my head at once. I must be a freakin' genius or something.
("Something" = "fucking nuts")
Monday, June 11, 2007
I've been peeing on ovulation predictor sticks since Saturday evening, in hopes of seeing a surge by Wednesday, indicating ovulation by Thursday, so we can inseminate before Dr. B leaves town on Friday.
I'm not exactly holding my breath.
The plan at the moment is that I'm doing the sticks every 12 hours - at about 6 am and 6 pm.
On my early work days, that's when the clock goes off and when I get home.
On the late days, I'll set the clock special to take my temperature and pee (for the sake of consistency) and then go back to bed. Then, I'll have to do one pee stick at work in the evening.
The digital sticks turned out to be about twice the price of the others, so I bought two boxes of the plain (2 blue lines) ones, and one box of digital.
The thought is that I'll pee on the cheap ones every 12 hours, and if I think I'm seeing two equally dark lines, I'll confirm the surge with the expensive digital stick.
If anyone knows of any tricks to induce ovulation, please share them!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
I'm running late again, because I was away Friday - Saturday, and didn't get a lot done after I got home on Saturday. But, here it is!
Life always has it's ups and downs and is sometimes disappointing, but on we dream and wish, "if I could only. . . . "
- If I could only choose any place on earth to live, I would:
Live where we do now in the summer time and back home in Texas in the winter. That would be the best of both worlds, weatherwise, and would let us spend time with both of our families.
- If I could only buy anything I ever wanted, I would:
If I really could buy anything that I wanted, then I suppose I would buy everything that I want! Including the two "dream homes" - here and in Texas!
- If I could only do whatever my heart desires, I would:
Have a baby.
- If I could only write a great novel about _____, I would:
I don't really know what I'd write about, but I would hope that it would be inspiring and life-changing to those who read it. And that it would make me a very rich.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
On the morning that you have to finish packing for an overnight trip, and you have a meeting scheduled for moments after you walk in the door at work, you should probably try not to oversleep by thirty minutes.
But, if you do, you should definitely stop and blog about it.
Edited to Add:
And then, what's really great, is when you manage to leave for work on time after all that, and then there's some big wreck on the interstate, and you end up being an hour late to work anyway.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
One bit of good news has come out of our on again / off again insemination plans for this cycle.
The first winner of the You Can Be Shrike & Whozat's Baby-Daddy Monthly Sweepstakes is . . .
"BowTie" - our first-choice donor!
His "gentleman callers" are FedExing their way to us as we speak. If we're not able to inseminate this month (because I ovulate while Dr. B is away) we'll send them back to the freezer and get them back next month.
So, in honor of that, and since I know you're all dying to learn more . . .
13 Things We Know About Mr. June and/or July
- The cryobank staff describe him as "tall, dark and handsome."
- They also describe him as "an absolute teddy bear."
- He's 6'3" and 251 lbs.
- He has brown eyes and straight, brown hair.
- His favorite food is sesame chicken.
- He speaks English, Italian, Scottish and Gaelic
- He does multi-day bike rides and triathlons.
- He scored 33 on the ACT and was valedictorian of his high school class.
- He wears glasses for near-sightedness (since he was 20).
- He sings and plays bass guitar and flute.
- He has two younger brothers.
- His most memorable childhood experience involved a trip to Yellowstone Park.
- We call him "BowTie" because he's wearing one (and a little vest) in the childhood photo that we have of him. He also has big, beautiful brown eyes.
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As I've mentioned, Dr. B will be out of town for days 15 - 17 of this cycle.
The reproductive endocrinologist won't take me on mid-cycle, and Dr. B won't ok having the sperm shipped to us at home for a do-it-yourself job.
(Which would just be a vaginal insemination, not intrauterine, so not as good odds anyway - on the other hand most of the world is conceived with vaginal inseminations! (Albeit, not with frozen sperm.) )
This morning, Dr B's office suggested that we could order the sperm, and then if I ovulate while she's gone, and we can't do it, we can ship it back still frozen, and store it til next month, and we're only out the shipping and storage fees.
We decided to do that, and I called and placed our order.
Meanwhile, I made an appointment for Tuesday 6/20 with the RE to get started there, and use them for the next cycle, assuming there is one.
Then, Dr B herself called and basically said that the smart thing to do is to just sit out this cycle since the odds of ovulation when she's in town aren't good, and we'll likely be wasting the $200 or so for shipping, which we might need later.
I know that's the logical thing to do, but it was a tough decision to make, especially on such short notice, so I wanted to talk to Shrike about it before cancelling the sperm order.
However, by the time I got hold of her, and called the bank back (only about an hour later) - they said it was already on it's way!
So, we can either have Dr B's office send it right back when they get it, or they can hold on to it, in hopes that I do ovulate on exactly the right day. Either way will cost us the same.
I figure that if we have it and I ovulate the wrong day, I'll be annoyed, but we're not out any more money than we are now.
If we have it and I ovulate the right day and we try and it doesn't work, at least we tried. (And if it does work - woo hoo!)
BUT if we sent it back, and then I ovulate when Dr B is in town and we don't have it, I'll be really mad at myself.
So, assuming that she is willing to give it a try, assuming she and the sperm and an egg can all be in town on the same day, that's what we'll do.
We're not really expecting it to even work out to try this month, and much less for it to actually work, but we'll see how it goes, and at least it will be a start.
I'm really getting tired of saying that we're "about to start trying." Our minds are totally in the "we're trying" mode, but I feel like a big liar if I say it that way, when I haven't even come within 50 feet of a sperm!
So, we have sperm on the way, and I've bought a bunch of pee sticks, and we'll keep our fingers crossed that Little Ms. Eggy decides to drop at the right time!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Ugh, what a day, in the baby-plans department.
This morning, I popped over to Dr. B's office to sign the release for them to fax my records to the RE. Uh, no. Not so much with the faxing of the records anymore.
But, I'm welcome to pick them up. In seven to ten days.
You know, right about the time that I'm ovulating.
I calmly explained as much. Ahem.
So, they agreed to have them ready by 2 pm Friday for Shrike to pick up. Whew.
Then, to the vets office, where we found out that MamaCat has dropped a couple of pounds in the past eighteen months and is actually a teeny bit below her ideal weight. BoyCat has stayed the same, and is still fat.
GirlCat, alas, has gained another two or three pounds, and is now rockin' the big 2-5.
Much discussion of kitty diets, and how we're just going to have to suck it up and feed them separately. Ugh.
Then, off to work - but first, a stop at the RE's office.
Well, first a stop at the RE's former office, to find out that they've moved, then to her actual office. Which turns out to be on the way to work, not just past work. Even better.
I told my sad story to the girl there, and gave her a copy of my lab work from last month, as well as a couple of forms that I'd downloaded from their website.
The doctor was busy at the moment, but she said she'd check with her and give me a call back.
Yeah, no dice. She's happy to see me on Monday for an initial consultation, to work toward inseminating in July, but she's not willing to take me on mid-cycle.
So, to summarize:
If I ovulate on Day 14, as I've done for most of the past six months, Dr. B will be in town and can inseminate me.
If I ovulate on Day 18 or later, as I did last month, she'll be around to do it.
If I ovulate on Day 15, 16 or 17, she'll be away and I'm SOL.
So, here's our thought at the moment.
If Dr. B can't inseminate me, we're thinking of giving it a try (not IUI) at home.
That's actually something we'd discussed in the past, but thought it best to go straight to the IUI, given my age. But, if that's not a possibility, we might as well try it the other way.
Tomorrow, I'll try to find out whether Dr. B's office is allowed to let the sperm come and go (so to speak) from their possession, so we wouldn't have to commit to which route we're going.
Also, whether we could have it delivered to our house, and whether we could do an at-home vaginal (not IUI) insemination using sperm that's been washed for IUI (my research says yes) or whether Dr. B's office could wash the sample right before we need it, if we ordered it unwashed, then ended up able to do an IUI.
Further complicating matters is the fact that different donors have IUI (washed) and ICI (not washed) samples available.
For IUI, as I've mentioned before, BowTie and NewGuy are "maybes" and Popeye is a "yes." For ICI, NewGuy is the only yes, plus Doc is a "maybe."
For some reason that I cannot possibly explain, I'm suddenly not so okay with NewGuy. There's no logic to it, it's just a gut reaction. When I saw that he was the only "yes" for the ICI, I just really started feeling like I don't want to use him.
What the hell???
So, I'm hoping that we can either use the IUI (and preferably actually do an IUI with it) or we can get Doc for the ICI.
But it may still turn out that we can't do anything this month at all.
In which case: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
So, Dr. B's nurse calls me back today, and tells me that Dr. B. is going to be out of town June 15 - 17!
Yepper, right when I'm likely to be ovulating. ACK!
So, I've left a message for the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) that's down the road from work, to see if they'll take me on for this cycle.
Tomorrow, we're taking the kitties to the vet bright and early (Yes, literally. That's not some euphamism for going to see Dr. B! ;-) ) then on my way from there to work, I'll pop by Dr. B's office to sign the papers for her to send my records to the RE.
Then, I'll try again to get hold of them, and hope they can see me in the next day or two and are willing to inseminate me in about 9 or 10 days.
I don't know if it's too late in this cycle (tomorrow is CD 6) to start Clomid, if they wanted to do that, but it can't hurt to talk to them. This is probably our only hope to try this cycle - unless I'm running late again, and wait for Dr. B to get back in town before inseminating. What are the odds of that?
I'm just glad I've not placed our order with the sperm bank yet!
Monday, June 4, 2007
I'll continue to babble on.
Neither my doctor nor her nurse was in today, so one of them should return my call tomorrow. Then, I can get my latest list of questions answered, including those about exactly when we need to tell the gentleman callers to arrive.
Then, I'll call the gentleman caller bank and place our order. Woo Hoo!
I did get a call back from the reproductive endocrinologist who is right down the block from work. I explained the situation, and we left it that if we're not successful on this attempt, I'll give them a call as soon as we find out. They'll get me in for an appointment, asap, and they should be able to have me ready to go for that cycle.
One good thing about being a little later than I expected is we should be back home from Texas before I ovulate in July (if I do) so that's nice.
I updated to ED2 on the situation, including my revised estimated ovuluation date (Thursday June 14, in a "textbook" world).
That could be a bit of an issue, in that our monthly big-meeting-with-everyone-from-around-the-franchise is scheduled for that Friday morning, and I'm scheduled for my one-Saturday-a-month on the 16th.
Her reaction was "well, we're thinking of rescheduling that meeting anyway" and "you've only got three students coming in to test on that Saturday, we can push that to the next weekend - or, school's out, so maybe they can come during the week..."
Not even a suggestion that I might schedule the insemination around work.
Remember, this is the woman who's been through in vitro - twice.
So, when I talk to my doctor tomorrow, one of the things I'll be asking about is the size of the "window of opportunity" and whether, if I were to "surge" on Thursday or Friday of next week, I'd need to rearrange my work schedule for Friday / Saturday morning, or if it would be fine to just do it in the afternoon.
In other news, I still feel like crap - snotty, sneezy and fevery. Blech.
ED2 let me leave work a teeny bit early, which was very nice. However, when I got home, we still had to hit the grocery store. I would have loved to have postponed that, but the cupboards were really quite bare.
I did check the sales, and use coupons, and saved a total of about $35, but did a little more "convenience" type foods, and a lot less "ingredients" than I was for a while there. I've not quite figured out when / how to cook, now that I'm back and work, and getting home so late so many evenings. I need to work on that.
We did make one kind of exciting purchase at the grocery store. Although they didn't have the digital ovulation predictor kit that I want to use (I will check at the drug store tomorrow), we did buy a package a 3 pregnancy tests, supposedly accurate "5 days before you miss your period" because, despite what my doctor tells me, I know there's no way I'll be able to wait 15 days for a blood test!
Sunday, June 3, 2007
I will omit the details, to protect the not-so-innocent, but let's just say that there was a brief incident this afternoon, involving the words "fucking bitch," "being a big baby," and "acting like a dick," as well as the kicking of inanimate objects.
Followed by apologies and hugs, and then a lot of laughing at how stupid we must look (if, heaven forfend, anyone were looking) when we fight.
We found the "dick" accusation to be particularly amusing, in retrospect.
We're feeling much better now.
Editted to Add:
Much later, as we were driving home and laughing at ourselves, Shrike said, "You've got to blog that!"
She's been quite tolerant of my blogging over the past few months, not rolling her eyes too much when I stop in the middle of say, canine first aid, to grab my camera, but I think this is the first time that she's specifically suggested that I blog something.
Especially something that makes us look, maybe, not so good.
But she's right, it was pretty damn funny, once we were done acting like a couple of big, bitchy, dickish babies.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
I'm sick, and everybody's going to know about it.
Yes, I do realize that, in the grand scheme of things, a little cold is really not much to complain about, but it's my cold, and I'm going to make the most of it.
It started yesterday morning with a suspicious tickle in my throat, then a few sniffles.
Then I sneezed. Twice.
And I knew it was all downhill from there.
By the end of the day I was getting that "I'm so tired, I need to sit down. No, sitting isn't "down" enough, I should lie down. Shit, still not enough. How can I get "downer" than flat on my back?" feeling.
Oh, but "flat on my back" is not such a good idea.
That's when my mouth falls open, and my throat dries out from all the breathing through it, and then it really hurts.
But why all the whining? Why not just pop a pill and make it all better?
Well, you see, I'm allergic to decongestants, antihistamines and cough suppressants.
So, when I have a cold, I just have to suck it up and suffer.
That also means that at the first hint of a scratchy throat or sniffle or abnormally tired feeling, I'm hit by an overwhelming sense of dread, knowing what the next few days will hold.
Today, I'm really not feeling all that awful yet, but I just know that tomorrow will probably be worse. I'm hoping that will be the low point, and I can be headed back toward humanness by Monday, but I'm not very confident about that.
So, I'll just try to take it easy, drink lots of fluids, blah, blah, yada, yada, useless assvice, and in seven to ten days, I'm sure I'll be on the mend.
In the meantime, I will whine.
Fill In The Blanks, Try Using Photos
- A picture perfect day is wine, music, art and a not-too-hot summer day.
- A picture perfect dinner is grilled in our backyard.
- A picture perfect evening is spent with my honey, enjoying our backyard.
- A picture perfect vacation is camping.
Friday, June 1, 2007
This post is part of the second annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day, a time for the LGBT community and our allies to come together in support of our families.
You don't have to be a member of the LGBT community, or a parent to participate, and they are still accepting contributions.
Just send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment there with a link to your post.
If you contribute, please leave a comment about it here, as well!
This week, the state of New Hampshire legalized civil unions for same-sex couples, joining the small, but growing, number of states that legally recognize gay and lesbian relationships.
We are making progress, to be sure, but it is coming far, far too slowly, and while we've moved forward in this handful of states, a number of others have passed laws and constitutional amendments prohibiting marriage and civil unions for same-sex couples.
The opponents of marriage equality like to paint themselves as defenders of "The Family" but countless LGBT families are being harmed by their bigotry and hate.
In some states, children languish in the orphanages while gay couples who would love nothing more than to provide homes for them are denied the right to adopt.
In other states, non-biological parents are considered legal strangers to their children whom they've raised since before their conception.
Shrike and I are luckier than some, in that Blue State allows second parent adoption, and has not (yet) amended its constitution to prohibit marriage equality (although there is a law to that effect).
We will still have to spend a great deal of time and money when we have a child, to legalize Shrike's parental rights, and even then, she and I have no legal relationship to each other.
Given the obstacles - biological, financial, societal - that gay and lesbian couples must overcome in order to create our families, it baffles me that we can be considered inferior, or somehow "less than" simply because both parents are of the same sex.
If the opponents of equality were as interested in strengthening and protecting "The Family" as they claim to be, they would be working for the good of all families, not just those that fit their own narrow definition.
Please consider writing your elected officials, and telling them that.
Mombian is hosting "Blogging for LGBT Families" Day today.
I will do my best to post my own very deep, meaningful and touching contribution this evening, but in the meantime, please check out what others have had to say on the subject.